- Note From An Alienated Dad
- PA for DUMMIES
- Parental Alienation
- Main Alienators
- Alienated Children Speak out
- 3 VIDEOS explain PA
- Cross Country Parental Alienation Awareness Tour
- I CAN'T BE A FATHER
- Recent Articles
- An Alienated Child's View
- FACEBOOK posts
- Alienacion Parental (Spanish)
- The Rejected/ Targeted Parent
- Books on PAS
- Memories of a Monster
- Judge Gorcyca: PA most devastating Issue
- Infamous Alienators
- Kick Parental Alienation's @$$
- Women vs PA
- The Step Parent
- Videos: Parents Speak out
- A New Hope
- I Am The Alienator
- It Happens To Moms Too
- Borrowed Content
- PA Movies to Watch
- Shared Parenting
- A Broken System
- San Bernardino Family Court
- Awareness in our Schools
Personally experience incidents are highlighted in purple
My comments are in red.
My comments are in red.
In my own case, after rarely seeing my children for a period of 15+ months, which was preceded by six years of alienating behaviors, the court ordered my ex to let me see my children 50% of the time. This was the original court agreement: joint custody, 50-50 placement with both parents and no child support.
When the day came for my ex to turn them over he refused. The G.A.L. got involved and wanted me to not abide by the court agreement because the children were distressed over coming to live with me and suggested we try counseling first. By this time I was familiar with the research on PAS and I told him "NO! The children have been ordered to return to 50-50 placement and that's what's going to happen!"
The first day was hectic. They were 9 and 11 at that time. We planned a family barbecue and the children were fine until the guests left. They tried to sneak out of the house, told me that their dad said they didn't have to stay, didn't want to do anything, etc. I gave them a choice; either come into the kitchen and play cards with my new husband and me (whom they already new), or go to bed. After a few tears, pouts and bad words to us, they eventually came into the kitchen and played cards. We had a great evening and they went to bed nice, they even asked me to read them a story.
It has been nine months since that day and it hasn't been easy on me. But as I write this, I realize how the children and I and my new husband have settled into a nice routine. The children are still "brainwashed" and will tell the G.A.L. that they want to live with their dad, but when there here, we have fun, laugh, do family things, they get punished when they misbehave but the most important thing is even though they say they don't want to live with us, they are smiling while they are here.
The oldest is still the watchdog and reports everything we do to his father. Recently, I had overheard him telling his dad to talk to me about an issue, (Memorial Day), but I was never handed the phone. I can only assume that dad wouldn't talk with me and continued to try and convince his son to not go to mothers on Memorial Day. The Holiday schedule in place clearly stated that I had the kids on Memorial Day. My ex tried to convince the kids that he had Memorial Day. The kids told me that dad already made plans with them and that they had to go. I told the kids that if their dad had a problem he should talk with me about it and not them. The kids asked to see the Holiday schedule that I told them stated that I had them. After I showed them the schedule and explained Petitioner and Respondent I never heard another word about them going to their father's. I can only surmise from this story that my children are listening to me, I have repeatedly informed them not to get involved in matters between dad and mom, if their dad needs clarification he should talk with me not them.
My ex will not talk to me. He outright refuses. If I call him, his answering machine is always on. He never calls back. The only time I have ever spoken to him is if I happen to pick up the phone and he is looking for one of the kids.
Because my ex wouldn't let me see the children, and we initiated contempt of court proceedings nine months ago, the court stuff is still dragging on.... My ex wants me to have nothing to do with the children and has filed for sole custody. Through these past nine months he has kept me as uninformed about everything that he has become privy to.
Life with an alienating ex is very frustrating. With my own experience with PAS, I can attest to the fact that at one point my daughter was hiding from me under her bed at her father's and now she is smiling and asks me to fix her hair, the abrupt transfer the "Ma Kettle" way worked!
We've all come a long way because I knew what I was dealing with, PAS.
Anne's story is another example of how a mother can be a victim of PAS. He has had to persist while trying to keep the kids out of the issues between her and her ex. Kids don't want to be caught in the middle and be a conduit for the parent's communication.