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After a strongly worded e-mail from me, I get this...she sounds like she is about to "get it"
Joe - Tammy Barrow <[email protected]>Megan
Beth McGuire <[email protected]>Fri, Mar 22, 2013 at 5:22 PMTo: Joe Barrow <[email protected]>
This case is beginning to remind me of a case where I was the children's therapist and there was a child custody evaluator involved. The evaluator and I were involved with the Court for probably two years. Each report we wrote took away more and more of mother's time with the children. Unfortunately, over the course of these two years, we had three judges. It felt like starting over each time we got a new Judge. It was like he/she either didn't read the file or it didn't have the impact that getting the evidence first hand did. I understand that it is clearly more impactful if you gather the evidence yourself rather than have a file dropped on your desk.
I would like to ask that you make a chronology of the emails, reports, videos, FB postings, etc. that you believe I should read and digest. If you can provide copies of these items, please do.
In the meantime, with alienation cases as with any clinical case, you have to start where the child is. I don't have a magical way to do away with past experiences. When the air has been cleared as much as possible by having the child tell how things look to her and having the parent listen well and express their understanding (NOT agreement), then I try to get the child to start afresh. I try to build in as many positive interactions between the child and the alienated parent. Hence, I ask you to listen to Megan's version of events and let her know you listened and understood what she feels. Accept that there is her story, your story and the truth. This listening/understanding/accepting and trying to have as many positive interactions as possible replenishes your emotional bank with her. I have tried to set up you and Mom arranging for Megan to see her sister because I believed this would again been seen as a positive gesture by you toward Megan and keep adding to that emotional bank.
--
Beth A. McGuire, Ph.D.
Psychologist PSY 10520
521 W. Citrus Avenue
Redlands, CA 92373-4625
Office 909-793-7064
Cell 909-831-6377
Fax 909-793-9485
Beth McGuire <[email protected]>Fri, Mar 22, 2013 at 5:22 PMTo: Joe Barrow <[email protected]>
This case is beginning to remind me of a case where I was the children's therapist and there was a child custody evaluator involved. The evaluator and I were involved with the Court for probably two years. Each report we wrote took away more and more of mother's time with the children. Unfortunately, over the course of these two years, we had three judges. It felt like starting over each time we got a new Judge. It was like he/she either didn't read the file or it didn't have the impact that getting the evidence first hand did. I understand that it is clearly more impactful if you gather the evidence yourself rather than have a file dropped on your desk.
I would like to ask that you make a chronology of the emails, reports, videos, FB postings, etc. that you believe I should read and digest. If you can provide copies of these items, please do.
In the meantime, with alienation cases as with any clinical case, you have to start where the child is. I don't have a magical way to do away with past experiences. When the air has been cleared as much as possible by having the child tell how things look to her and having the parent listen well and express their understanding (NOT agreement), then I try to get the child to start afresh. I try to build in as many positive interactions between the child and the alienated parent. Hence, I ask you to listen to Megan's version of events and let her know you listened and understood what she feels. Accept that there is her story, your story and the truth. This listening/understanding/accepting and trying to have as many positive interactions as possible replenishes your emotional bank with her. I have tried to set up you and Mom arranging for Megan to see her sister because I believed this would again been seen as a positive gesture by you toward Megan and keep adding to that emotional bank.
--
Beth A. McGuire, Ph.D.
Psychologist PSY 10520
521 W. Citrus Avenue
Redlands, CA 92373-4625
Office 909-793-7064
Cell 909-831-6377
Fax 909-793-9485
