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More e-mails regarding visits with Megan
Joe - Tammy Barrow <firstname.lastname@example.org>Megan's visit with sister
3 messagesBeth McGuire <email@example.com>Tue, Mar 19, 2013 at 10:16 AM
To: Joe Barrow <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Cc: Christy Garrison <email@example.com>
I am totally confused. At our last conjoint appointment, you made a date to meet up with Megan today so she could visit with her sister (and your two step-daughters). If I understand your email correctly, you are canceling this meeting. In its place, you sent Christy a tirade about how the condition of your relationship with Megan is her fault. You don't think that, having made two arrangements for Megan to visit with her sister and failed to follow through on both of them, may have something to do with your relationship with Megan?
In addition, I believe that you have posted a picture of Sophie on FaceBook accusing Christy of being responsible for Sophie not having seen Megan since October 2012. After our discussions about how painful it is for Megan to continue to read your public accusations of her mother alienating her from you, I am dumbfounded that you would make this posting as you cancellation Megan's date to see Sophie. You have failed to follow through on the arrangements for Megan and Sophie to visit, not Christy.
Beth A. McGuire, Ph.D.
Psychologist PSY 10520
521 W. Citrus Avenue
Redlands, CA 92373-4625
Joe - Tammy Barrow <firstname.lastname@example.org>Tue, Mar 19, 2013 at 12:53 PMTo: Beth McGuire <email@example.com>Beth, I will respond to this shortly. In the meantime, I suggest you re-read the e-mails and so that you can see that 1. I am not cancelling. 2. This is not the second time. 3. Reflect on how much damage this e-mail is going to have the second Christy shares it with Megan and says, "see Megan, it is your dad's fault."
Joe and Tammy Barrow
Joe - Tammy Barrow <firstname.lastname@example.org>Tue, Mar 19, 2013 at 8:01 PM
To: Beth McGuire <email@example.com>
Beth, below you will find my response to your last e-mail in red, while the content of your e-mail remains in black text for clarification and in order to respond properly to each one of your statements.
But first, I would like a response to a question that you have failed to answer time and again. Have you had any training and experience dealing with Parental Alienation (PA)?
This is becoming more and more crucial. Because if you don’t, or you don’t “believe” in it, then sadly our daughter is lost.
If you really believe everything that Christy and a grossly enmeshed, brainwashed child are telling you, then God help Megan. It is a shame because I have worked diligently and proactively to always be there for Megan. Look at what has happened in the short 8 months that I have been kept from her.
Second, how dare you send an e-mail like this to Christy. It only shows me that you have missed the issue completely. At the very least, this action was not well thought out. Do you really not know that Christy will immediately show your e-mail to Megan and used it to further her agenda? Do you realize the damage that will cause?
It seems like you are simply going off of what a disturbed parent is telling you and what our brainwashed daughter mimics.
Have you not listened to a word that we have said regarding what is going on? Have you not looked at one piece of the evidence including Amy Miller’s report, videos of interference, the horrendous way that Christy, Mike, Kaylee and others talk about me in front of Megan. Did you not hear Megan say that Kaylee tells her that I used to beat Kaylee and Josh? Did you not see the texts where Christy calls me a monster? Or hear the recording of Christy accuses me of not loving our daughter right in front of her?
Did you not listen to the audio of Christy threatening to take more time away from me? Does that sound to you like she is encouraging a relationship?
Is it normal to not be able to recall one single joyful memory with me and my wife? What about Megan’s unwillingness to hug me at the beginning and end of our sessions? What about the doctored photo of text messages that Megan posted as “evidence” that I am ignoring her? Have you even explored that?
The last thing Megan needs is for you, in your ignorance of the reality of what is going on, to contribute to the alienation process. Megan needs me now more than ever.
I am totally confused. Beth, I completely agree with this statement as you have many misconceptions. You really do have a grossly inaccurate picture of what is going on. At our last conjoint appointment, you made a date to meet up with Megan today so she could visit with her sister (and your two step-daughters). If I understand your email correctly, you are canceling this meeting. No, but it is very suspect that you chose to ignore the last e-mail sent at 10:46 pm last night. That states that I went as far as to ask Malia and Jaida’s father to give up part of his afternoon with his girls so that they may see Megan.
If you re-read the e-mails correctly you will see that I am attempting to change the date – not cancel -- so that Megan’s 3 sisters can spend time with Megan. Malia and Jaida are with their dad. We are trying to avoid Malia and Jaida coming home to Sophie talking about how she had visited with Megan and needing to explain this to them. God knows they have been through more than we are comfortable with, but Parental Alienation affects entire families. I have made a promise to myself to keep this nightmare from affecting them as much as possible. As it is, they have been negatively affected by being kept from their sister once again. As you can recall, this is not the first time that Christy has kept Megan away from our family. All of Megan’s sisters miss her.
Christy is suggesting that she finally sees that Megan needs her father in her life and claiming that she has always encouraged a relationship between me and Megan. Christy has for the last 3 years been saying the same thing while actively interfering with my relationship. Never-the-less, Christy suggested that she would be willing to drive here. I believe that this is an attempt to use the e-mail in court as evidence of her “encouraging” my relationship with Megan. No one really believes that she will actually drive here. We will believe it when it happens.
Again, if you re-read my e-mail, you will see that I made alternate suggestions and also made arrangements with my step-daughters’ biological father to share them so that we could meet with Megan on Tuesday. In its place, you sent Christy a tirade about how the condition of your relationship with Megan is her fault. This, right here is where you are missing the point and the cause of my greatest concern. I am stunned. After everything that we have presented you with, that you would insinuate that this is completely my fault. Wrong.
Beth, if you would take the time to look at all the evidence you will see that this is less of a “tirade” and more of a reiteration of my concerns that are at the root of the issues that we are experiencing. This is where you are missing the point. You don't think that, having made two arrangements (please look at the e-mails and you will see that I attempted to make arrangements to meet, but never received a response) for Megan to visit with her sister and failed to follow through on both of them, may have something to do with your relationship with Megan? So are you saying that because of two failed attempts for Megan to see her sisters within the last month, that this is why my I do not have a relationship with our daughter? Did I really just read that right, Beth?
Once again, you have your facts mixed up! I attempted to make arrangements with Christy to meet Megan at a park near her home. After the hell that our family has been going through, your suggestion that I may secretly be not wanting to spend time with Megan or that I am attempting to keep her sisters away from her is simply ludicrous. That my driving 2 hours each way two times a week for 5 plus years was just what---a setup?
Beth, why did you choose to disregard this e-mail at 10:46 pm last night that reads, “Christy, I will respond to that last email later. Malia and Jaida's dad is willing to share the girls for a couple of hours tomorrow, it’s how normal families work. So, if you would like to bring Megan down to La Quinta I am sure all the girls would appreciate it.
Thanks, see you tomorrow.
Joe”? It doesn’t sound like a cancellation to me but, rather a final, last minute attempt to make a meeting possible.
In retrospect, I should have made this arrangement with Malia and Jaida’s father earlier, knowing how flexible we are with each other when it comes to sharing our girls. It could have prevented this ordeal. I take full responsibility for not making those arrangements in a timelier manner. However, it did bring to light some additional concerns about where you stand and how easily and erroneously you target me as the cause of the state of my relationship with Megan. This shows me that perhaps you don’t get it.
In addition, I believe that you have posted a picture of Sophie on FaceBook accusing Christy of being responsible for Sophie not having seen Megan since October 2012. Beth, Christy is responsible for the declining state of my family’s relationship with Megan. Christy has been doing this for years now. There is documentation of Christy apologizing for keeping Megan away from our family. Yes, Christy is good at “acting normal” it’s called manipulation, a staple of someone with a personality disorder. Combine that with the statements from a programmed child and that makes a pretty compelling argument, but not for someone who is familiar with triangulation, enmeshment, and parental alienation. After our discussions about how painful it is for Megan to continue to read your public accusations of her mother alienating her from you, I am dumbfounded that you would make this posting as you cancellation Megan's date to see Sophie. Wrong again! First of all, did not cancel. Additionally,I have had this picture up since March 9. Additionally,
1. My Facebook is blocked and set to private. As far as I know Megan doesn’t have a Facebook.
2. Christy is the one who has a problem with my telling the truth and documenting her alienating behaviors. But she uses Megan to voice her own concerns.
3. I will continue to document my story as long as Megan is in the grips of this horrendous type of abuse. I will not fall for Christy’s tactics to silence me.
4. The alienation has been going on long before I began documenting our nightmare. If there is concern regarding my writing about Christy’s alienation behavior then perhaps we should focus on stopping the alienating behavior. Would you tell a victim of domestic violence to stop talking about the violent behavior or would you tell the offender to stop the abuse? Let’s focus on what the real issue is.
You have failed to follow through on the arrangements for Megan and Sophie to visit, not Christy. No! This is not true. Again, re-read the e-mails. In the one dated Tue, Feb 12, 2013 at 6:46 PM, you will see how Christy never responded even though I offered to drive to a park near her home. I made arrangements to meet Christy on Saturday at 1 pm at a park near her house. Christy neither responded nor showed up with Megan. It baffles me, that you are getting this situation confused. Then again, Beth, Christy is a master manipulator who has been successful at duping 2 mediators and came close to duping Amy Miller. I would hope that with your educational background that you would recognize the tactics of a person with a personality disorder.
In the latest e-mail exchange, I made alternate suggestion of times to meet, NOT cancellations. It awaits to be seen if Christy really intends to drive here. Do you think Christy is coming after your last e-mail? Do you see how perhaps it could even have set us back?
How painful do you think it is for Megan to have to hate her father and step-mother? How much damage do you think is being done to her soul because she feels she doesn’t have a choice but to tell lies about her father and step-mother?
In the meantime, I strongly suggest that you take the time to look at what is really going on so that you can help me save Megan. Megan is in a nose dive, headed down the same road as her older sister, but everyone believes that it will be worse for Megan.
I will do everything that I can for our daughter but if she falls due to negligence, incompetence, or both, people will need to be held accountable.
Beth, I am formerly requesting that you make available to me a written case conceptualization and a treatment plan for what we are experiencing. I remain hopeful that you may still get it and that our daughter ends up in capable hands.
Joe R. Barrow
Joe and Tammy Barrow