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Letter to Beth McGuire Ph D
My world is about adhering to a strict moral code that includes honesty. Complete honesty. I refuse to be complicit in a lie either by agreeing with dishonesty or ignoring it. I am more about calling out a falsehood before it becomes ingrained as a truth. That is why I immediately e-mailed you, Miss Green, and Christy when you mentioned, after your session with Mike and Christy, that Megan’s desire to switch schools was now being blamed on some kids bullying Megan due to the content of my website. In a sense, how, this too, was now my fault.
I had a three-way conference, which included Miss Green (the school principal), Megan, and Christy last week. During our conference call there was no mention of my website. It may seem inconsequential, but again, in my world lies and falsehoods are called out. Look at what happens when they are not. I have learned that if I do not address these kinds of issues, these lies then get even more twisted, exaggerated, and eventually sustained as truths at a later date and even emboldened in an “official report” by a mediator. This has thus been the pattern.
(Miss Green has since contacted me, via e-mail, stating that she is unaware of any teasing, bullying etc. Nor was this was issue brought up in our conference call)
I am concerned how easily you chose to believe that I was to blame for Megan wanting to transfer schools. Rather than look at the pattern of how Megan’s desire to transfer schools spike when there is a recent breakup, strengthening my argument that Megan is not emotionally ready for romantic relationships.
Here are few more things, I have been blamed for:
• I have been blamed for Megan’s drop in grades, even though her grades remain exemplary.
• I have been blamed for Megan’s dropped in self-esteem though I have no idea how that was measured, assessed, and doubt that her esteem has somehow dropped due to me.
• My wife and I have been blamed for Megan’s friends no longer being allowed to spend the night at Christy’s house, when it is the parents (mostly teachers, gymnastics parents, and coaches) of these friends who have approached me concerned with what is going on at Christy’s and not feeling comfortable with their daughters spending the night.(Drug use, non-supervision, fugitive gangbangers...etc)
• I have been blamed for Megan quitting gymnastics, even though it is Christy who has pulled her out entirely on 2 separate occasions solely to keep me from seeing Megan or picking her up.
• I have been blamed for Kaylee’s drug, alcohol abuse, and having to be kicked out because of Amy Miller’s report.
• And, of course, I am to blame for the state of my relationship with Megan. Apparently, this is a case of self-alienation.
I am not sure how to respond to your last e-mail, especially after the last session. I have the following concerns which have yet to be addressed:
1. Christy and Mike being in a session with you when I came in on Thursday. I asked the court for a therapist to help with our situation, due to the previous therapist’s incompetence. Commissioner Daniel pulled your name from a list to facilitate sessions with Megan and me. Again, I am wondering why you are also having sessions with Mike and Christy. I believe this is the reason that you approached me in such an aggressive manner on Thursday. I am not sure where you are headed with this adversarial approach but I assure you that in focusing on and attacking me, your energies are being misplaced.
2. You never answered if you were at all concerned with everything that Megan is being exposed to in Christy’s home, including drug use, underage drinking, statutory rape, as well as the denigrating remarks consistently made about me...etc. All very well documented behavior that can be verified on video, social media, audio...etc.
3. And lastly, have you had any training and experience in dealing with Parental Alienation? This is very important for Megan’s well-being. Because, any re-unification attempts will not be successful as long as the alienating behavior is not addressed and allowed to continue.
Beth, before you continue to be deceived, I strongly urge you to look at the insurmountable amount of evidence showing interference, alienating behavior, and all the disparaging remarks made about me by Christy, Kaylee, Mike and Erica among others. Also, look at how Megan has learned to get what she wants by exaggerating, claiming she fears me, and being otherwise manipulative and deceitful. This is not hearsay, but events that are so well documented that someone would have a hard time defending how they missed it, especially a mental health professional trained in assessing human relationships and behavior.
The sooner that you do actually look at the evidence, the sooner we can begin to help Megan. I have been bullied out of my relationship with Megan in the most insidious and horrific way.
Your focus needs to shift from me and what you have been duped into believing about me by a brainwashed child and a disturbed, vindictive parent.
I know this doesn’t fit with your theory of what is happening.
Look at the evidence. My website is not about bashing, it is about documenting everything that is happening to Megan, myself and our family. It is not my “opinion,” it is about documenting the events, behaviors, and statements of Christy, Mike, Kaylee, and others who have contributed to the deterioration of my relationship with Megan.
My advocacy for change is something that I intend to continue until significant progress is made. This is child abuse and it’s horrific. We are living a nightmare, as are many others.
Still, as painful as this continues to be for our girls, my wife and myself, we will be okay. It is Megan who is going to have to deal with this for years to come. The guilt of being forced to lie about her father and our relationship, and the fact that she has been taught to be deceitful and to hate. The fact that her impressionable mind is being wired in a way to ignore her own experiences and perceptions and forced to go along with those of her mother’s and Kaylee’s is dysfunctional and will only hurt her future relationships and ability to function in later years.
Because, I am about truth and committed to bringing awareness to this issue my website and advocacy will never stop. It is a great resource and offers support for many others who are strangely share very similar stories.
For some reason, I feel you find it hard to believe that I am a great, insightful, compassionate father after 1 session. You may want to explore where that is coming from. Is it a because of what a 14 year old is telling you? Is it from a mediator’s reporting of what 14 year old told them? Remember where the mediators got their information.
Or is it from the words of a vindictive parent? I have attached an audio of Christy stating that she doesn't “care what the court order says,” she will take me back to court and Megan will “say what she needs to say.”
I know Christy and Mike can be very convincing and how they can present themselves in a good light. But it baffles me when “professionals” fail to see the obvious especially with all the documentation. The evidence paints a very different picture of what they want you to believe.
Please look at the evidence.
Beth, Dr. Amy Miller was headed down the same path before I presented her with some documentation. I presented her with text message exchanges, Facebook postings, which portray a much different teenager than you see in your office and more importantly, they show Christy in a truer light. This was just a fraction of the evidence that is now on my website; a year and a half later, there is a significant amount more documentation.
All you have to do is look at it and ask yourself if it looks like I am alienating myself?
Finally, in response to your last e-mail. I know about co-parenting. My wife and I are intelligent, insightful and effective parents. We are not over bearing, nor are we do expect too much from our children. I am not sure why it is hard for you to believe that perhaps we are simply very good parents who are dealing with something insidious and horrific.
We know how to co-parent. We do it effectively with our other 2 girls whom we share with their biological father.
However, it is difficult if not impossible when dealing with someone who undermines my authority and encourages a teenager to lie, be deceitful and get her way by claiming she fears me, is uncomfortable with me and now that I spy on her in the shower and have a habit of walking in on her while she is changing. It is baffling how a CPS social worker who only requires a bachelor's degree in social work, could see through the latest accusations and chose not to pursue these serious allegations, but someone with a doctorate is seemingly duped.
The reason that Christy and Mike came on board last year and we had a minimal amount of success in co-parenting Megan was because we had a pending trial date and Amy Miller had, forcefully addressed some of the issues on Christy’s side, namely, the troubled boy that Megan was allowed to date, John Bxxxxx, the problems with Christy’s older daughter, Kaylee, and Christy not respecting my role as a parent to Megan by undermining role as a parent. Christy didn’t like it, but she didn’t have a choice but to co-parent with me during that time. I, on-the-other-hand, don’t need a pending trial date to do the right thing.
I should point out that even then Christy had a hard time showing and maintaining a united front with me in regards to parenting Megan and being consistent in adhering to our set boundaries that we had set for Megan. You can’t have effective co-parenting when one parent allows and even helps the child violate set boundaries, and then encourages Megan to lie about it.
In response to your request conference calls were used in the following situations: Christy called to consult with me if about Megan getting her hair highlighted (immediately after this occurred I wrote Dr. Miller an e-mail thanking her for her role in this), another time to talk about Megan’s wanting to quit gymnastics after she has just recommitted, and the boyfriend situation with John Bxxxxx. (If you need any evidence as to how horrid this boy is please let me know. I can send you my documentation that the school shared with the Sheriff).
The first two were dealt with successfully, the third, the boyfriend situation, not so much. Megan was adamant about wanting to date John Bryan, Christy was extremely reluctant to stand by everyone’s recommendation (other parents, teachers, coaches and Megan’s therapist) that Megan deserves better to say the least. It wasn’t until the Sheriff became involved, Megan’s best friend stopped attending due to the bullying, and that another parent and I met with the superintendent to address this bully that Christy, finally, came on board and even then Christy defended Megan’s “crush” and allowed them to be “friends.”
The good thing was that this bully and his sidekick were expelled.