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Please like and share if you feel like this is a fairly accurate assessment of how this happens.
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Parental Alienation for Dummies
For the Mediators, Therapist, GALs, and Judges who don't get it.
(Not all of them. Across the country there are some insightful and educated persons who are beginning to get it.)
Here is a simple illustration of how this works. Its really not that hard to understand.
(Not all of them. Across the country there are some insightful and educated persons who are beginning to get it.)
Here is a simple illustration of how this works. Its really not that hard to understand.
In a typical situation you have two parties want time with their child but out of a healthy concerned for the well being of their child neither parent involves the child in contentious process. It is detrimental to the child. They both know it and attempt to keep the process from affecting the children.
He Said |
She Said |
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Mediator
The mediator has some work to do. He/She has to listen to both sides and figure out what is going on and try to work out a mutually beneficial agreement. Mediator writes a recommendation to the judge.
Judge/Commissioner
The Judge/Commissioner listens to both sides and an agreement is made where both parents share custody. The percentages are not always favorable to one parent, but there is at least some custody time.
In a Case of Parental Alienation: (In this example the Targeted Parent happens to be a father, but it happens just as equally the other way around where the mother is the Targeted Parent.
He Said
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She Said/Daughter Also Said
(Alienating Parent) The Alienating Parent not only allows her child to get involved but facilitates it and INSIST that the mediator, therapist, Guardian Ad Litem and the Judge hear it directly from the child how, suddenly, horrible this parent has become.. |
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Mediator
The mediator thinks, "How horrible! Even the 8 year old child dislikes the dad. He must be bad. Good thing the mother is there to protect the child."
The mediator who is not trained to identify the alienating behavior usually sides with the child and the Alienating Parent. The Alienating Parent will say that they encourage the relationship and that it is the child who does not want to visit with the Targeted Parent.
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The duped Mediator then makes a recommendation to the court based on what the child and the mother are claiming. |
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Judge/Commissioner
The judge/commissioner erroneously orders therapy for the father and his daughter. And in the meantime, removes the Targeted Parent's rights until the father and daughter are able to repair their relationship. Ironically, and tragically, it is the disturbed Alienating mother who is the one with the mental health issue.
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Comments:on 5/17/2013
Yolinda Thomas Comment I agree. It is high time that the professionals start to listen and act on behalf of targeted children and targeted parent. What woul this proffessionals have done if it was their children. Would they have taken all these humiliation from the police, psychologist, welfare officers, judges, attorneys and advocates??? On 5/15/2013
Donna Hickman Comment There are plenty of fathers alienating their sons & daughters from their moms. edit. On 5/15/2013
chelsey williams Comment: This is a humorous but sad commentary on the state of mis-information about what PA/PAS is and is not. It is HIGH time that a grass-roots educational program be aimed at those in the family court system to educate about PA/PAS. There is far too much evidence and research that has been completed by reputable psychologists and therapists for it to be ignored any longer. It is ridiculous that it continues to be questioned when as a culture, we already acknowledge things like brain washing by cults and sadistic, violent criminals. It certainly is not a stretch to believe that one parent with precious influence over their children could be capable of forms of this behavior on a spectrum. Time to get these people's head out of the sand and teach them the signs and symptoms. Certainly, not every case of a child showing signs of dislike for one parent is a case of PA/PAS but it is the courts OBLIGATION to find out why a child would reject a parent and not automatically assume it is because that parent is "bad". On 5/13/2013
Kunal Mukherjee Comments: What a joke! Where I come from, the judicial system neither believes in PA, nor in moderators (who would not be trained anyway) and most importantly no one in the system believes that any corrective measure here is a time bound process. Every delay is deadly for healthy development of the child. So the case drags on & on and the alienated parent has less than a snowball's chance in hell. The alienated parent is guilty by default till proved Innocent & by then it's usually too late. |