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Shirley Stutson's (Christy's therapist for April) Letter to mediator with my notes in RED
Mrs. Christine Garrison brought April Barrow to her first session at my office on March 2, 2011, due to April's refusal to visit with her father at his house for the past year. What Shirley fails to note is that it was at my pleading since last October that I had requested counseling to work out some inconsistencies in Megan's behavior.
During our first session April agreed to visit her father. Shirley has continually attempted to take credit for the first visit. Even after Tammy and I explained that the visit was planned before her involvement, Shirley kept bringing it up. It became obvious that this was important to Shirley so after a while we stopped correcting her not only on this but on a variety of things.
Individual sessions with April continued for a few more weeks. Without my consent or knowledge.
Later I called Mr. Joe Barrow and invited him to join the sessions. On March (see E-mail I sent myself regarding first contact)
We worked through many issues and at times both parents were present in session.
April continued her visitations with her father on a regular basis up until the road trip to New York last summer.
April stated that her father and stepmother discovered she was receiving and texting messages on her
phone to what was considered April's boyfriend.
April stated during her individual session that she was scared and became physically sick since the incident in New York.
The details of that event and how it was handled definitely was very traumatic and caused April to experience fear and felt unsafe. The details according to April who was upset at being taken her phone away and yelled at for violating a major boundary
April started experiencing bouts of anxiety, depression, crying and became physically ill. These symptoms sound like what she was experiencing in NYC before she got in trouble, when her boyfriend refused to say I love you back. AND these are the symptoms that she is currently experiencing when she breaks up with the same boyfriend, which is every other week.
April also developed a very low self-esteem which has affected her grades at school. Interesting. Please see report cards
Since that time both of April's parents and step parents have been involved in attending sessions off and on.
Christy does so inconsistently. See pattern
These sessions at times became very intense as both parents and families continue to accuse the other side whereas everybody needs to redirect their efforts towards monitoring their own actions and be responsible parents. This line is stolen from Amy Miller. "Be responsible parents" this is the main thing that we were trying to convince Shirley that needed to be done. Her response to me was "lower your standards Joe" Click here to see what she was asking me to lower my standards about.
The session with April on September 7, 2012, it was very obvious that April was very depressed over the situation that took place during her visit to New York.
She stated that she felt she needs to be perfect and she is in trouble no matter what she does.
She requests that her father stop recording her family at the gym and stop talking negativity about her mom and her family.
Client stated she cannot tell Dad liow she really feels due to her fear of being put down and lectures. See all my text exchanges with megan for last 3 years where I lecture and put her down relentlessly. oh wait..there isn't any evidence of that.
On October .8, 2012, the session involved April and her mother to encourage April to try and continue her visitations with her father. April stated she did not want to stay overnight but was willing to start with day visits
Session on October 24, 2012, client stated she went last weekend to Dad's house. Mother encouraged and insisted that she give it a try. April stated it was a disaster because she felt threatened and scared once again. April stated while she was in the shower her father came in and asked for her phone. April asked her father to 1eave and said she would get it when she got out of the shower. April stated that he kept throwing her things around and kept looking through her backpack until he found her phone and then asked for her password. Since then April has refuse to visit overnight with her father. She had some day trips with Dad but April stated the thought of staying overnight makes her physically sick and depressed. I have tried to empower April to have strength, be in control of her emotional state, and be able to alleviate her fears.
During past sessions we have tried to work through her emotional state and help her express what she needs from their relationship. April became very upset during these sessions stating that no matter what she's not being heard. Through the past events that April has had with her father she started to become more assertive and express what her needs are. The last session Mr. Barrow attended with April and her mother was one November 2, 2012. During this session Mr. Barrow was in agreement with some of April's requests. That is definitely a start in developing their relationship but April still has her doubts and problems with trust. Last weekend I encourage April to try to visit with Dad but to no avail.
My concern is the welfare and emotional state of April Barrow. April is presently 14 years old and attending high school. April s a responsible young lady and has always been an excellent student April is not a rebellious teenager and actually a somewhat passive personality up to this time. Hopefully somebody will listen to April so she can once again feel respected and loved from all sides.
If there are any questions you can reach me at the phone number above.