Megan Traumatized

trau·ma·tize ˈtrouməˌtīz,ˈtrô-/
verb past tense: traumatized; past participle: traumatized
1. subject to lasting shock as a result of an emotionally disturbing experience or physical injury.
2. To subject to psychological trauma.

Shirley A. Stutson, Marriage and Family Therapist: Are you incompetent or an idiot?

11/12/12

"Megan stated that her father and stepmother discovered she was receiving and texting messages on her phone to what was considered Megan's boyfriend. Megan stated during her individual session that she was scared and became physically sick since the incident in New York. The details of that event and how it was handled definitely was very traumatic and caused Megan to experience fear and felt unsafe. Megan started experiencing bouts of anxiety, depression, crying and became physically ill. Megan also developed a very low self-esteem which has affected her grades at school."
~ Shirley A. Stutson, MFT, Therapist in Victorville, California

NOTE: Aside from everything else, Megan's grades were not affected at all as evident by her report cards. Silly facts. Click Here to see the text messages

Megan traumatized on NYC Family Vacation? The Joby/NYC Incident

The only time during or after our road trip that Megan experienced any "anxiety, depression, crying and became physically ill," was during the brief period surrounding this dinner when her abusive boyfriend was playing games with her and stopped responding to her texts. Tammy and I addressed in appropriately by taking away our teenager's cell phone (I know, how could we) and everyone moved on enjoying the rest of our family road trip. As evident in all the following pictures, video and text exchanges.

In the pictures above, Megan had begun to feel ill. We tried suggesting everything a pair of concerned parents would think of trying; go to the bathroom, take some Tums, drink water...etc.
It was summer in NYC and we had been sightseeing and walking so we thought maybe she was dehydrated. We decided to pack up our food and head out to our hotel. On our way back Megan said she felt better. We were all relieved. Moments later, I saw Megan hunched over texting. She began acting suspicious and I asked for her phone. She was texting Joby, a boy she went to school with. She admitted that she had been upset because he had not text back, There were also some disturbing text messages. I took her cell phone away.

Bullet Points:

All 4 parents and therapist agree Megan should not be in a romantic relationship until emotionally ready and all parents agree. This was largely in part to Megan's inability to be honest and continued bad choice in type of boys she dates.
During our vacation Megan apparently got very ill. See pictures on left. We were so concerned we all packed up our food and headed to hotel room. Come to find out, Megan was just upset about boyfriend playing games with her.
We decided to be parents and took her phone away and told her she would not be staying in Tennessee after our DC/NYC road trip but would be coming back to California with her family. In the meantime, we will focus on our family vacation.
Later, Megan admits that her mom was okay with her having a boyfriend and it was Christy's suggestion that she not tell her dad and not label it a boyfriend.
We try to confirm this with Christy, but she avoids us and refuses to answer. (See text messages below)
Due to Christy's avoidance and refusal to answer, we assume that Megan is telling the truth and curtail her consequences by giving her the opportunity show us that she understood what she did wrong, that she is accountable for her role, how she is going to regain our trust and how she will handle these situations in the future. (See letter)
Because Megan was honest and did show us that she fully understood the situation we decided to allow her to stay in Tennessee.
Christy made a therapy appointment for all the parents for a month later July 20th. But then Christy flew Megan home early for an "emergency" therapy session with Shirley Stutson on July 6, 2012 so Megan/Christy could "tell their story."

Suddenly, the issue wasn't Megan violating a boundary and her mother encouraging her to lie to her father about it, the story was now that Megan was traumatized in New York City because a friend said he "I love you" in a text message. The pictures below show how terribly traumatized Megan was.

These picture were taken the day after Megan got in trouble for violating a boundary. Does Megan look traumatized?

These are just some of the pictures of the following day...you can see the effects of the trauma on Megan's face...

And of course by this day, Megan was a complete mess..with the trauma being fully flared up and all...

Shirley Stutson, MFT, look at our poor traumatized girls...

The following text exchanges took place before during and after our family road trip:

Text Exchange with Christy Garrison

________________________________________
Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx> Tue, Jun 19, 2012 at 4:19 PM
To: Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx>, Kaylee Godley <760xxx-xxxx@unknown.person>
[I had sent Christy a picture]
________________________________________
Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx> Tue, Jun 19, 2012 at 4:22 PM
To: Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx>
Omg so beautiful!!! R u guys having lots of fun?? She is blessed to have u guys!!
________________________________________
Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx> Sat, Jun 23, 2012 at 8:26 AM
To: Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx>
Hey mom love you call me whenevrr you can i have alot to tell you its so fun here but i almost diedd when i was at the state of liberty!!! ahaha(: CALL ME!<3
________________________________________
Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx> Sat, Jun 23, 2012 at 9:53 AM
To: Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx>
The call got lost when i was at the hotel .. try calling again i sill didnt get to tell you what happned at ellis islandd
________________________________________
Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx> Sat, Jun 23, 2012 at 11:41 AM
To: Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx>
Apparently Megan is still being allowed to have a boyfriend but just not "label it". Her text messages and cell phone continue to be un monitored (she uses words like FUCK and BITCH) and she is being allowed to delete text messages. She was distraught because her "crush" was playing games with her on the phone and not saying " i love you" back. Jobi is also showing signs of being over bearing and telling Megan she is not allowed to say other guys are "cute" and giving her a hard time when she doesn't respond. So part of our vacation was disrupted over megans "crush." I made copies of text messages for shirley. Megan is having fun now that we took her phone away and is focusing on family and emma. It really is unfortunate that this is continus to be an issue. Megan is NOT ready to BE in a reationship!!! She CANT handle IT!
________________________________________
Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx> Sat, Jun 23, 2012 at 11:42 AM
To: Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx>
Yes i do agree
________________________________________
Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx> Sat, Jun 23, 2012 at 11:45 AM
To: Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx>
I would like to have the same copies you sent to shirley. Please i dont mind us discussing this in therapy but i should aslo be included in what you are
________________________________________
Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx> Sat, Jun 23, 2012 at 11:45 AM
To: Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx>
finding and sending to our therapist.
_______________________________________
Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx> Sat, Jun 23, 2012 at 12:05 PM
To: Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx>
Ok...and please include me when you talk with JOBY AND Joby's dad...so i know that it is made clear what our expectations and boundaries are and everyone is abiding by them. It seems things were not made clear...according to Megan you told her that she is allowed to have this relationsip with Joby as long as she doesnt "label it."
So now when she shoudl be focusing on having fun with her family and best friend in New york, she is being distracted by a "crush." She couldnt eat, her stomache was bothering her, she felt like throwing up and was crying....later, i caught her texting. And found out why she was upset. Right now she is doing great, but thats becuse we dealt with it. The quesion is are you going to continue to allow her to be relationships where she is manipulated? And are you going to continue to send mixed messages? We established a while ago that her having a boyfriend is not allowed. She is in an abusive relationship! Now will you put your foot down?
____________________________________
Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx> Sat, Jun 23, 2012 at 12:07 PM
To: Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx>
I did speak with his dad, i told you that. We can discuss this in therapy
_______________________________________
Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx> Sat, Jun 23, 2012 at 1:50 PM
To: Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx>, Jeree Barrow <760xxxx-xxxx@unknown.email>, Corey Riley <Cxxxxx@co.riverside.ca.us>
FAO Schwarz....

2012-06-23_16.42.10.jpg
______________________________________
Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx> Mon, Jun 25, 2012 at 11:11 AM
To: Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx>
Aw how beautiful!
_____________________________________
Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx> Sun, Jun 24, 2012 at 7:47 PM
To: Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx>
We r going to today show at 6 am...then running around NyC 1 last day..the we r going to start driving to Tennessee...i will let u know when we r on ay to california. We will keep u posted.

________________________________________
Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx> Mon, Jun 25, 2012 at 7:27 PM
To: Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx>
Hi joe, i made us an appt on july 20th@3pm w/shirley
________________________________________
Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx> Mon, Jun 25, 2012 at 8:23 PM
To: Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx>
Ok...perfect.
________________________________________
Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx> Tue, Jun 26, 2012 at 10:48 AM
To: Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx>
Megan says you know that she makes out wth joby...is she lying?
________________________________________
Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx> Wed, Jun 27, 2012 at 9:37 AM
To: Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx>
Megan is trying to call you...
________________________________________
Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx> Tue, JUL 3, 2012 at 12:15 PM
To: Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx>
Hi joe just wanted to let you know i have megan flying in tonight. Please email megans birth cert to lisa, you may still have it. Megan has appts all nex
________________________________________
Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx> Tue, Jul 3, 2012 at 12:15 PM
To: Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx>
t wk and a counseling appt w/ shirley on friday by herself to talk through some issues. Our family therpy is on the 20th,we can exchange megan then so i
________________________________________
Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx> Tue, Jul 3, 2012 at 12:15 PM
To: Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx>
can spend the next 2 weeks w/ her. Again, i am not sure if the airport personell will require id. So please email the birth cert. Thank you.
________________________________________
Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx> Tue, Jul 3, 2012 at 1:41 PM
To: Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx>
When and where is she flying in...
________________________________________
Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx> Tue, Jul 3, 2012 at 1:42 PM
To: Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx>
And you never answered my question...did u know that megan and Joby were in a relationship and makng out? Or is Megan lying?
________________________________________
Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx> Tue, Jul 3, 2012 at 1:44 PM
To: Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx>
Lax at 8 pm... These issues are inappropiate to discuss via text. We can discuss it in therapy like i had mentioned.
________________________________________
Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx> Tue, Jul 3, 2012 at 1:47 PM
To: Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx>
Ok..we r just trying to figure out who is lying...she says u knew and allowed it. Interesting how now you want to go back to therapy.
________________________________________
Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx> Tue, Jul 3, 2012 at 1:48 PM
To: Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx>
When is Megans appt?
________________________________________
Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx> Tue, Jul 3, 2012 at 1:48 PM
To: Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx>
Friday
________________________________________
Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx> Tue, Jul 3, 2012 at 1:49 PM
To: Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx>
I will have her call you when we r in the car from lax.
________________________________________
Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx> Tue, Jul 3, 2012 at 1:49 PM
To: Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx>
What time? I think we should all be there...
Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx> Tue, Jul 3, 2012 at 1:49 PM
To: Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx>
To get to the truth about what is going on...
________________________________________
Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx> Tue, Jul 3, 2012 at 1:51 PM
To: Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx>
Megan is going alone without any of us, she needs the one on one time. She has to wrk through her issues as well and we both agreed shirley is good with her
________________________________________
Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx> Tue, Jul 3, 2012 at 1:53 PM
To: Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx>
if you would rather i have her see someone new other than shirley i can arrange that. Other than this we can all talk about this on the 20th.
________________________________________
Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx> Tue, Jul 3, 2012 at 1:56 PM
To: Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx>
Which issues are u refering to? I would like to know..she is a wonderful girl and level headed...
________________________________________
Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx> Tue, Jul 3, 2012 at 1:56 PM
To: Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx>
Why would we need another therapist? Im confused.
________________________________________
Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx> Tue, Jul 3, 2012 at 1:59 PM
To: Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx>
Like i said texting these conversations is not appropriate, we can discuss it in our therapy sessions.
________________________________________
Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx> Tue, Jul 3, 2012 at 2:03 PM
To: Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx>
It would help if u make it to therapy and not only when you want to do damage control or manipulate things.
________________________________________
Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx> Tue, Jul 3, 2012 at 2:04 PM
To: Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx>
We will be there friday as well.
________________________________________
Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx> Tue, Jul 3, 2012 at 3:15 PM
To: Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx>
What time and date is megans theray appt?
________________________________________
Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx> Tue, Jul 3, 2012 at 8:19 PM
To: Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx>
Did u pick up Megan?
________________________________________
Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx> Tue, Jul 3, 2012 at 8:38 PM
To: Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx>
Just got her, ill have her call u
________________________________________
Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx> Wed, Jul 4, 2012 at 5:44 PM
To: Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx>
Can u have megan call me ....
________________________________________
Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx> Thu, Jul 5, 2012 at 1:41 AM
To: Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx>
Just got home, left my phone here sorry. I will tell her to call u in the am.
________________________________________
Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx> Thu, Jul 5, 2012 at 4:44 PM
To: Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx>
Havent heard from megan..is her appt tomorrow or next friday?
________________________________________
Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx> Thu, Jul 5, 2012 at 4:45 PM
To: Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx>
Tomorrow, i will tell her to call u again
________________________________________
Joe Barrow <760-xxx-xxxx> Thu, Jul 5, 2012 at 5:06 PM
To: Christy Garrison <760-xxx-xxxx>
Just called your home...josh says she is with you...can i please talk to her?

<<-- I had sent Christy (and Kaylee) a picture of us on our roadtrip.

<<-- Christy's response.
On JUNE 21, in the evening is when Megan got her phone taken away. From that point on, I had Megan use my phone to keep in touch with her mom.

<<-- Megan texting her mom she is having alot of fun..

<<--Megan again texting mom...

<<-- I let Christy know about Megan and the texting.

<<-- This is as close comes to admit that Megan had a boyfriend.

<<--Christy is more concerned about what I am sending her therapist