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To my alienated daughter from Rockefeller Center

5/23/2014

1 Comment

 
In the winter of 2013, my wife and I took our family to New York City to scratch "Ice skating in Rockefeller Center" off of our Bucket List. It was me, my wife, and our three girls, Malia, Jaida and Sophie. It was amazing, a beautiful evening. My daughter, Megan was supposed to be with us. I think about her all the time even as I am smiling and enjoying our girls, our family, our life. Its all good. In the back of mind, though, I am always aware that something is not right. That something is missing. That things are not the way they should be.
 I wanted to reach out somehow, in some way. At the same time, I didn't want to mention my daughter's name in front of our girls. They were, as kids often are, so in-the-moment. They were just happy to be where they were. I didn't want to remind them that our family wasn't complete. I took an opportunity as they were at the far side of the rink to make a short video clip for my alienated daughter. I could only tell her that I love her and I miss her before I had to stop to keep from breaking down--something I have become quite good at. 
I miss my best friend but more than that I feel for her soul because I know it is being tortured. I couldn't send the video clip to her. 
When my babies skated back around I smiled at them, waved, and continued taking pictures. 
1 Comment
J
5/24/2014 01:05:07 am

I can't say what is best for your family- but I can say I had the same fears. Fears that our kids would remember their sister and have a million questions I couldn't answer with out exposing them to the evilness of it. But I am glad I finally took the step to include them in all this. It started with a photo. And my son said to my little daughter- that is your sister "M". He was age 8 and she was 4. Best thing I could have done is taught them all about their sister- what we could remember of her, as her. Now, they both have a photo hanging in their rooms. And as of this year- they finally got to meet her. My son knew her- before the alienation. He was only 2 when she was taken. But he remembered her like it was yesterday. My 6 year old daughter, now. Has a folder, to which she keeps letters and drawings and pictures to her. For when she can see her again. Bring the family closer during hard times, esp times like these. And hang in there. Hugs.

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