How is a Parent Alienated

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Every child needs a warm relationship with both of their parents and this insidious alienation is bound to scar the child deeply.
~ Rabbi Shmuley, on Parental Alienation

How is a parent alienated?

Alienation is accomplished through:

Words:

• Bad mouthing the other parent in front of the child

Your father is a loser.
Your mother is a lazy slug.

• Saying targeted parent doesn’t love the child

Telling a child that the other parent has said that he/she doesn't really love them
Telling the child that the other parent loves the other sibling more or the new family more.

• Discussing court case and child support issues with child

The AP will use the court documents to show that the other parent is trying to take the child away from her mommy/daddy

The biggest enabler of the alienation process is
our family court system!

Our adversarial court system and the the mental health vendors are a large part of the problem. The recent documentary by Joe Sorge, Divorce Corp. points out the dysfunctional and corrupt system that allows and even encourages the abuse of these children.
See Divorce Corp

Actions/Behaviors:

• Creating impression targeted parent is dangerous or sick

Sorry you have to go to your daddy's house, call me if you need to okay?

• Limiting visitation

Interfering with visitation times
Planning other more inviting events with the children so that they reject visiting with the targeted parent or if the targeted parent insists on their visitation, the alienating parent quickly blames the target parent for the child "missing out" on event.

• Forcing the child to reject targeted parent

By withholding affection when the child comes home from visiting the other parent unless the child mentions that she had a horrible time and missed the alienating parent
By rewarding the child, either by showing affection or approval when the child rejects the targeted parent
By rewarding the child with gifts or allowing age-inappropriate behaviors like staying out late, drinking at home, that the other parent would rightly not allow.

• Undermining targeted parents authority

Disagree with the other parent on an issue even if the issue is detrimental to the child
The Alienating Parent tries to be a best friend to the child rather than a parent

• Not providing targeted parent with school, medical, activity information about child

Not letting the other parent know about awards, doctor visits, other milestones or activities. The AP can later say that the other parent didn't care enough to show up.

• Intercepting calls and messages

Saying that the child is not available
That they will relay the message and have the child call back
Making annoying sounds when the other parent calls
Picking up the phone and then setting down the receiver No one ever comes to the phone.