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April25.org: Bact to: The Documented Case
Tammy's Declaration 2011
My name is Tammy Carley-Barrow. I am Joe Barrow’s wife and April’s Step-Mom. I have been part of April’s life since she was in third grade. For the past 11 years I have taught 5th graders at Johnson Elementary School in Indio and, along with my husband, write and publish children’s journals and books that promote self-esteem building, accountability, and life enriching activities.
Since 2007 I have spent nearly every weekend driving eight hours with my husband and children from La Quinta to Helendale to watch April practice gymnastics and spend the remainder of the weekend with her at our home and then drive her back to her Mother’s house again. We cherish every moment that we get to be with April. April has always enjoyed being with our family. She smiles and laughs a lot when she is with us. April interacts well with her sisters and has a beautiful relationship with her father. Joe has always spent as much time with April as possible and always communicates and shows her how much he loves her. He talks to her on a daily basis. Our weekends are strictly dedicated to our family. We do fun family activities, such as go on walks/hikes, swim, BBQ, paint, play games, most importantly-interact with one another. On the nights that April is with us, Joe will rub her back until she falls asleep, April loves this. Joe and I are the ones who help April with all of her school projects.
We have only seen April two weekends since Thanksgiving. Like I stated earlier we usually spend our weekends with April, but we are not allowed to see her any longer. We still have wrapped Christmas presents for April at our house.
On Saturday, February 12, 2011 Christy came to the end of gymnastics, which she never does, to pick up April. Joe had sent her a text message asking her to please not frustrate our visit with April. She stated to Joe that she was there to pick up April, that April didn’t want to go with him. She pulled April aside and told her to explain to her dad that she doesn’t want to go with him. We were looking forward to spending the long weekend with her; instead we drove the two hours home without her.
The following are just a few examples of many for the dedication we have for April, the frustration that is happening with our visitations with April and the substantial differences in our commitment to genuine parenting. Our daughters are our primary concern—always.
When I was 8 months pregnant, April called to let me know she had a gymnastics tournament, but had no transportation. I drove from my home in La Quinta, to pick April up for her gymnastics tournament in Hesperia, which is about 30 minutes away from her mother’s house. I noticed her Mother’s SUV was parked in the driveway. April and Cori (April’s older brother’s 16 year old live-in girlfriend) came out of the house and asked if Cori could come with us. I asked April if her mother was home and she said yes, but she was sleeping. We went to her gymnastics tournament, and naturally April did well. I always enjoy watching her confidence boost when she does well. I brought the girls back to Christy’s house, and her vehicle was still parked in the driveway. I congratulated April on her accomplishments, gave her a hug, and drove the two hours back home.
April brought to my and my husband’s attention that there was a purple spot on her tongue. We inquired if her Mother knew about this. She said she did, but never takes her to the doctor. We asked many questions about the spot on her tongue and her oral hygiene. The next weekend, we inquired about the spot, it had grown in size. We decided to take her to a doctor. The doctor said she had never seen anything like that before and put in for a referral to see a specialist. We received a referral to an ear nose and throat specialist a bit later, but were unable to schedule an appointment due only having April on the weekends. Joe called Christy to let her know April needed to be seen by a specialist. Christy said she would take April to the doctor, this did not happen.
Since I have known April she has complained of stomach pains, to which she says she had never seen a doctor about. Once she had stomach pains so severely that my husband took her to the emergency room because he was so concerned about her health. I was at work, but left to go see April in the ER. She was released and told to follow up with her pediatrician. Joe called Christy to let her know, but said April has stomach pains because she doesn’t drink enough water. A follow up never happened. We are concerned that this may be due to the constant conflict that occurs at her mother’s house.
April has complained to me many times about her Mother, mostly that her Mother sleeps a lot and isn’t involved in her life. We have had numerous conversations on how she can express her feelings to her Mother in a non-confrontational manner and have role played different scenarios of her asking her Mother to spend time with her. This is one of many examples of how we nurture and support our children when confronted with challenges.
I noticed a drastic change in April’s behavior since December 25, 2010; she had an hour long temper tantrum, which is something we have never seen from April and completely out of character. We thought we weren’t going to see April during Christmas break, when I received a text message from April’s Mother on December 21 letting me know that April will be driving with Jackie (Joe’s sister) to go to Dennis’s (Joe’s brother in Anaheim) for Christmas. We all were very excited to get to spend Christmas with April, like we do every year. When it came time to leave, April insisted on spending the night at Joe’s brother’s house, even though she wasn’t invited to stay. April threw an hour long temper tantrum and eventually stated that her mother told her not to come with us. It took the entire family to convince April to get in the Suburban. We needed to drive to Las Vegas to bring my brother to the airport and take our family to see Phantom of the Opera. Unfortunately our plans were changed due to Christy harassing us, while she was at work, via phone calls, text messages, and threats which started at 10pm and did not end until the next day (see attached). Christy and her husband Mike’s messages included threats of calling the police because Joe did not have a planned visit with April, the police have been to our house, and that he is not allowed to take April out of state. Out of concern, we split our family on Christmas Day; brought Joe and April to Jackie’s house and I continued onto Las Vegas so my brother could catch his flight. We never got to spend any quality Christmas time with April. We still have wrapped gifts for her at our home.
I am extremely concerned about April, due to Christy’s maladaptive behavior, emotional instability and the alienating of April from her father, me, and her three sisters--the only stable home she knows. I am further distressed by the emotional and psychological harm that she is causing April by setting her against her loving father at a crucial time in a 12 year old’s life. April has told me that her mother and Kaylee regularly speak badly of her father, but doesn’t know if she believes some of the really bad things that they say.
I declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of the State of California that the forgoing is true and correct.
Date: _________________
______________________________________ _____________________________________
(TYPE OR PRINT NAME) (SIGNATURE OF APPLICANT)
Since 2007 I have spent nearly every weekend driving eight hours with my husband and children from La Quinta to Helendale to watch April practice gymnastics and spend the remainder of the weekend with her at our home and then drive her back to her Mother’s house again. We cherish every moment that we get to be with April. April has always enjoyed being with our family. She smiles and laughs a lot when she is with us. April interacts well with her sisters and has a beautiful relationship with her father. Joe has always spent as much time with April as possible and always communicates and shows her how much he loves her. He talks to her on a daily basis. Our weekends are strictly dedicated to our family. We do fun family activities, such as go on walks/hikes, swim, BBQ, paint, play games, most importantly-interact with one another. On the nights that April is with us, Joe will rub her back until she falls asleep, April loves this. Joe and I are the ones who help April with all of her school projects.
We have only seen April two weekends since Thanksgiving. Like I stated earlier we usually spend our weekends with April, but we are not allowed to see her any longer. We still have wrapped Christmas presents for April at our house.
On Saturday, February 12, 2011 Christy came to the end of gymnastics, which she never does, to pick up April. Joe had sent her a text message asking her to please not frustrate our visit with April. She stated to Joe that she was there to pick up April, that April didn’t want to go with him. She pulled April aside and told her to explain to her dad that she doesn’t want to go with him. We were looking forward to spending the long weekend with her; instead we drove the two hours home without her.
The following are just a few examples of many for the dedication we have for April, the frustration that is happening with our visitations with April and the substantial differences in our commitment to genuine parenting. Our daughters are our primary concern—always.
When I was 8 months pregnant, April called to let me know she had a gymnastics tournament, but had no transportation. I drove from my home in La Quinta, to pick April up for her gymnastics tournament in Hesperia, which is about 30 minutes away from her mother’s house. I noticed her Mother’s SUV was parked in the driveway. April and Cori (April’s older brother’s 16 year old live-in girlfriend) came out of the house and asked if Cori could come with us. I asked April if her mother was home and she said yes, but she was sleeping. We went to her gymnastics tournament, and naturally April did well. I always enjoy watching her confidence boost when she does well. I brought the girls back to Christy’s house, and her vehicle was still parked in the driveway. I congratulated April on her accomplishments, gave her a hug, and drove the two hours back home.
April brought to my and my husband’s attention that there was a purple spot on her tongue. We inquired if her Mother knew about this. She said she did, but never takes her to the doctor. We asked many questions about the spot on her tongue and her oral hygiene. The next weekend, we inquired about the spot, it had grown in size. We decided to take her to a doctor. The doctor said she had never seen anything like that before and put in for a referral to see a specialist. We received a referral to an ear nose and throat specialist a bit later, but were unable to schedule an appointment due only having April on the weekends. Joe called Christy to let her know April needed to be seen by a specialist. Christy said she would take April to the doctor, this did not happen.
Since I have known April she has complained of stomach pains, to which she says she had never seen a doctor about. Once she had stomach pains so severely that my husband took her to the emergency room because he was so concerned about her health. I was at work, but left to go see April in the ER. She was released and told to follow up with her pediatrician. Joe called Christy to let her know, but said April has stomach pains because she doesn’t drink enough water. A follow up never happened. We are concerned that this may be due to the constant conflict that occurs at her mother’s house.
April has complained to me many times about her Mother, mostly that her Mother sleeps a lot and isn’t involved in her life. We have had numerous conversations on how she can express her feelings to her Mother in a non-confrontational manner and have role played different scenarios of her asking her Mother to spend time with her. This is one of many examples of how we nurture and support our children when confronted with challenges.
I noticed a drastic change in April’s behavior since December 25, 2010; she had an hour long temper tantrum, which is something we have never seen from April and completely out of character. We thought we weren’t going to see April during Christmas break, when I received a text message from April’s Mother on December 21 letting me know that April will be driving with Jackie (Joe’s sister) to go to Dennis’s (Joe’s brother in Anaheim) for Christmas. We all were very excited to get to spend Christmas with April, like we do every year. When it came time to leave, April insisted on spending the night at Joe’s brother’s house, even though she wasn’t invited to stay. April threw an hour long temper tantrum and eventually stated that her mother told her not to come with us. It took the entire family to convince April to get in the Suburban. We needed to drive to Las Vegas to bring my brother to the airport and take our family to see Phantom of the Opera. Unfortunately our plans were changed due to Christy harassing us, while she was at work, via phone calls, text messages, and threats which started at 10pm and did not end until the next day (see attached). Christy and her husband Mike’s messages included threats of calling the police because Joe did not have a planned visit with April, the police have been to our house, and that he is not allowed to take April out of state. Out of concern, we split our family on Christmas Day; brought Joe and April to Jackie’s house and I continued onto Las Vegas so my brother could catch his flight. We never got to spend any quality Christmas time with April. We still have wrapped gifts for her at our home.
I am extremely concerned about April, due to Christy’s maladaptive behavior, emotional instability and the alienating of April from her father, me, and her three sisters--the only stable home she knows. I am further distressed by the emotional and psychological harm that she is causing April by setting her against her loving father at a crucial time in a 12 year old’s life. April has told me that her mother and Kaylee regularly speak badly of her father, but doesn’t know if she believes some of the really bad things that they say.
I declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of the State of California that the forgoing is true and correct.
Date: _________________
______________________________________ _____________________________________
(TYPE OR PRINT NAME) (SIGNATURE OF APPLICANT)