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April25.org: Bact to: The Documented Case
Joe's Declaration 2012 |
Exhibits in This Declaration:
Exhibit 1 Exhibit 2 Exhibit 3 |
Joe's Declaration 2012: After,once again, Christy is keeping April from me
DECLARATION
My name is Joe Barrow, I am the father of April Barrow, our 14 year old daughter. I have been divorced from the petitioner, Christine Gxxxxx, for over 12 years. I am remarried and have 3 additional children at my home in La Quinta, California. I just finished my studies for a Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. I have also authored children’s empowerment books along with my wife, Tammy, who has been teaching for 13 years.
I have also developed and facilitate children’s empowerment workshops, counseled individuals and families, and co-facilitated a men’s counseling group.
I am a loving father whose first priority is and has always been my children. I am insightful, compassionate, and nothing like the picture that Christy, Mike and now April paint of me. I have played an active role in April’s upbringing since before she was born. I have been there to celebrate every milestone, shared in her many accomplishments, and offer words of comfort and guidance when needed. As far as my commitment to being a father goes, I have been told regularly by many, including Mike and Christine Garrison, that I set the bar high for parents. Mike and Christy have frequently left their other daughter in our care and on overnight visits.
For the last 2 ½ years I have been documenting (Video, audio, Voice mails, and text messages) Christy’s continued interference with my relationship with our daughter, April. The interference is at times manageable as I do whatever I can to appease Christy for the sake of our daughter. However, whenever I offer any resistance, for example, by asking her to abide by our court order, I incur the full wrath of her malevolence. Her first and main target is always directed at my relationship with April. This has been extremely well documented. I have been told by many, including mental health professionals that I have one of the best documented cases of alienating behavior by a parent against another parent.
My concerns are the same as they were two years ago when I first pled to this court that my ex-wife, Christy, was actively alienating me from our daughter (See my previous court declaration). Christy continually disparages me directly to and/or in front of April, interferes with my visitation, and blatantly ignores our court order stating, “I don’t care what the court order says, I will take you back to court and April will say what she needs to say.” 7/31/12 (EXHIBIT 1)
The last time we went through this almost identical ordeal, Christy also asked for me to “give April a week, give her two weeks,” and to skip a visit with her. The two weeks turned into 3 months that I was kept from our daughter. In Christy’s recent declaration she asks again for me “to give April 1-2 weeks to work through these feelings,” it has now been 5 months and I have seen our daughter on only 7 days.
During the previous ordeal, Christy eventually apologized and admitted to “jumping the gun” in keeping April away from me, not practicing effective co-parenting skills, and giving too much credence to the grumbles of a 12 year old who wanted to hang out with her boyfriend instead of visit with her loving family. In Christy’s own words, “Maybe April was playing me against you...” (9/ 20/2011) and “Thank you as well for helping me giude April, and clarifying some issues that i had assumed.” (10/27/ 2011). Of course, this was while we were seeing Dr. Amy Miller and had a pending hearing. Christy still fails to see that April continues to “play” her against me to get her way. April on July 27, admitted that she does it because she can get away with it with her mom. Christy regrettably jumps at the opportunity, enthusiastically, to show that she is not a bad parent by going along with April’s assertions and even encouraging them. Because Christy chooses to align with April rather than, as Dr. Amy Miller suggested, communicate with me and thereby “removing April from the uncomfortable and rich role of possibly distorting facts...” we are now back where we were 2 years ago. (see 3190 Non-Confidential report) It is a shame that Christy’s lack of co-parenting skills is harming April.
I am asking for professional guided co-parenting counseling for Christy and me, if not all four parents for the sake of April’s mental and emotional well-being. Additionally, I would like for all my visitations to be restored and missed days made up as I am a loving father and not in any way a threat to our daughter. I have done nothing to deserve my time with April being taken away by either Christy or this court. I am additionally requesting that pick up and drop off responsibilities be reversed to prevent me having to wait for up to 6 hours for a Sheriff to respond when Christy chooses to keep April away from me. I am requesting that Christy bring April to my home on the beginning of the weekend and I bring April back to Christy on Sunday evenings.
On January 9, 2012 there was a detailed court order in place that all parties agreed on. I was especially relieved that April would no longer be placed in the difficult situation of having to choose whether or not she would visit me at the risk of upsetting her mother. My relationship with April was restored to what it had been before. I seemed to have our daughter back.
A little over a month after the court order was issued, Christy began violating the court order and threatening to take me back to court. Christy had allowed April to walk 1 ½ miles to her friend’s home where there were no adults. When I address my concern they were met with threats of court action. I have grown accustomed to Christy’s threats and simply dismissed them. But what happens next is revealing and typical of what I go through. When Christy saw that her threat of court action wasn’t fazing me, she impulsively said that April didn’t want to come out to our van. I asked Christy why she would say that since April had just been out to our van and enthusiastically greeted our family before running back into the house to get her things. April seemed happy and excited to see us. Then Christy said, “look at the way you treat her.” This statement comes from out of nowhere. April had not been treated negatively. When April comes back out, she still seems happy. As we drive away, I ask April if she’s okay and she nods and enthusiastically says yes. She adds that she was looking forward to seeing us and that she missed us. I texted Christy to let her know what April had just told me and Christy responded by saying to leave April out of this. This incident was audio recorded. (EXHIBIT 2)
This documented incident is a typical example of how a trifle disagreement can cause Christy to use April as a pawn and impulsively go straight at my relationship with April.
Still, I felt reassured I was going to be allowed to continue having a relationship with our daughter. I now had an enforceable court order which all parties were to abide by. This all changed when this court brought it to Christy’s attention that no law-enforcement officer is going to physically force a 14 year old go with the other parent. My heart immediately sank with the realization that Christy just got the green light to place April back in the middle of a situation that Dr. Amy Miller’s report and a court-order had successfully and appropriately removed her from.
Three days later, On August 10, Christy stated that “April is a good actress and she’ll ball her eyes out if she has to,” and that April will put on a show and refuse to go. Since then, both Christy and Mike have stated that they now know how to get around a court order. Mike, her step-dad, especially has found it particularly advantageous that they were delivered a way around a court order and he continues to gloat about it. Inferring to my attempts to get our court-ordered visitation enforced, Mike exults, “How’s that police calling working out for you, good?”
Once again, April was placed in a situation where she is the one making the choice. I remain concerned about April being thrust into the role of the decision maker regarding if, when, and under which circumstances she is willing to visit me, especially when her refusal to see me is encouraged by her mother, the step-dad, her older sister, Kaylee, and Erica Perez, a teenage mother living at Christy’s home. This was addressed in Amy Miller’s report, “Naturally, this is completely unacceptable...and places an extremely large burden on a young adolescent who is not equip [sic] to possess such power.” (See 3190 Non-Confidential Psychologist Report).
Christy additionally provides April with the mis-guided perception that a 14 year old is emotionally and cognitively equipped, and more capable than either of her parents, to make the decision of whether or not it is in her best interest to have a relationship with a parent, unless of course that parent is her. Christy continually states, “Its April’s choice. I (Christy) have to respect her choices.” Would a 14 year old be allowed to not attend school or deny medical assistance simply because she didn’t want to? Further-more, I remind Christy how little respect she seemed to have for April’s choices when April’s wishes were to come live with me.
I emphatically deny all of Christy’s and her husband’s allegations that I am in any way abusive, controlling, psychiatrically unstable, or pose any type of threat either emotional, physical, or sexually to our daughter. Their hastily authored declarations are full of uncorroborated accusations re-hashed from 2 years ago when Christy’s alienating behavior was first brought to this court’s attention. Christy’s and her husband’s anger and animosity towards me are evident in their declarations which were written as retaliation for publically disclosing our 3 year battle with parental alienation and Christy’s mis-perception that I reported her 24 year old son’s relationship with a 16 year old girl.
These unsubstantiated allegations, including the more recent and timely sexual allegations have, none-the-less, resulted in the subsequent removal of all my rights to spend time and communicate with our daughter from November 29, 2012 to January 14, 2013. The four months prior, Christy had completely disregarded court orders by only allowing me to see our daughter on 7 occasions within the last 125 days between July 27 and November 29, 2012.
I ask the court to examine the documentation showing that Christy is not only interfering with my visitation time but also actively facilitating the destruction of my relationship with our daughter through her words and alienating behavior.
1. INTERFERING WITH VISITATION
A. The following are dates that I have been denied my court-ordered custody time with April. The beginning dates Christy was either not at the exchange location, refused to come to the door, Christy simply refused to allow visitation, or deliberately mis-represented the details of our court order to refuse visitation:
August 10, 11, 12, 16, 23, 24, 25, 26, 30, 31 of 2012
September 1, 2, 6, 7, 8, 9, 13, 14, 21, 22, 23, and 27 of 2012
October 4, 5, 6, 7, 11, 25, 26, 27, and 28 of 2012
November 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 9, 10, 11, 12, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, and 21 of 2012
I. Example of interference: On October 25, I had driven 2 hours to pick up April for Thursday visit and was waiting in front of her school. April’s step-dad sped past where I was parked, and stopped in front of the school gymnasium (not a designated pick up stop) just long enough for April to jump in. As they drove off while I called out after him, “What are you doing? I am supposed to pick up April.” He responded by saying, “bye Joe,” and then drove off. This incident was video recorded.
II. November 1, 2012 Mike drove alongside and followed April as she walked the few blocks home from her school. Christy approached from around the corner and hit the accelerator as she passed where I was standing in the street. As she passed next to April, she gestured at April to go to the house. This incident was video recorded.
III. November 2, 2012 After therapy Christy had agreed to allow April to come with me. Once downstairs from the therapist office, Christy appears to change her mind and ask if I could just stick to day visits in front of April. Christy refuses to leave and even places April in her car and then goes to have lunch while I wait for Sheriff. She says to call her when they arrive. In front of April she accuses me of not thinking of the best interest of April. These incidences were video recorded.
B. Interference with Communication
~Christy’s daughter, Kaylee belches when she answers the phone or during conversations with April.
~Christy denies me access to April’s cell phone number. Resulting in my having to go through Christy in order to communicate with April from July 27 to September 28. This set up is to my disadvantage because Christy refuses to bring April give the phone to April. Christy claims in an e-mail on September 28 that she texted me April’s cell phone number a month prior.
~Christy and Mike have asked me not to call the home phone, but I feel as if I have no choice. When I call the home phone, my calls are met with hostility, annoying noises including belching and laughter by Kaylee and/or Erica, and sighs of frustration by Mike and Christy. At times I am hung up on or told to hold on indefinitely while they “looked” for April. Eventually, I either hang up or get hung up on. This has been an ongoing issue.
~When Christy does have April call me she lets the phone ring for half a ring and then immediately text messages me claiming that April has tried calling me but that I am not answering.
C. Christy Abruptly Takes April Out Of Gymnastics to Keep Me From April
~Christy rarely shows up to gymnastics however when she does it is with an entourage and with the intention of interfering with my visitation time. Christy has kept April from gymnastics practices and meets. On two occasions, once in February 2011 and again in September 2012, Christy abruptly took April out of gymnastics entirely to keep me from seeing her
~On August 10, 2012, during my custody time, Christy brought her sister and an unknown female to gymnastics practice. The two women walked onto the gym floor against gym protocol and literally escorted April off the floor after practice, physically blocking me from April. Christy denies this ever happened, while April says that the escorting was due to her fears of me. This entire incident was video-recorded.
~Christy has done this before on February 11, 2011, when she showed up 15 minutes before practice was over to keep April from visiting me. During that time she removed April from gymnastics entirely as well. The February 2011 incident was video recorded as well.
~The claims for April quitting gymnastics are similar to last time. April quit gymnastics to try dance. When April did not start dance classes, the reason for quitting gymnastics was then switched to me again. April was eventually re-signed up for gymnastics on both occasions. This time with the condition that I not attend gymnastics practices.
D. Not Encouraging Visitations and Coaching April to Refuse to Visit With Me
Christy at times says that she encourages April to visit me while simultaneously claiming to having to “respect April’s wishes” to not visit or that she needs to “protect” April from me; and then at other times she claims that she is unable to enforce her authority as a parent to get April to visit, but concurrently succeeds in compelling April to visit on some occasions when Christy desires. This is documented in text messages, video, and audio recordings.
E. Changing Pick Up And Drop Off Times with Threat of Court Action
Christy frequently asks that I drop April off back at her house earlier than our court ordered time additionally she demands that I pick up April later than our court ordered time and threatens me with court action. (EXHIBIT 3 A & B)
2. BEHAVIOR AIMED AT DETROYING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH APRIL
A. Christy, told April that I will never love April as much as I love her older sister, Stephanie. On August 18, 2012, April hand wrote a letter to me stating that she now believes it to be true.
B. I have been accused of kidnapping/abducting our daughter on Christmas Day. This is documented in text messages as well as a voice mail.
C. Denigrating remarks from Christy and others in Christy’s household. Documented in text message, audio, video, and social media postings.
D. Numerous unsubstantiated criminal allegations stalking, trespassing, illegally recording a minor, lying to a police officer, and sexual allegations against our own daughter
E. Christy actively undermining my authority as a parent.
F. Calling, texting April at the onset of our 2 week long family vacations, asking when she is coming back, if she wants to return sooner, and that she is gone too long.
G. Filing false allegations of sexual abuse (see Mediation report)
H. Christy consistently claiming that she is protecting April from me, implies that I am in some way a danger to our daughter. Documented in text/video/audio.
I. Tells April that I was abusive to her during our marriage
J. When I attempt to pick up April I am accused of stalking, harassing, trespassing, and other inappropriately behavior. The stalking incident is videotaped.
K. I am told to wait in the street when picking up our daughter at the agreed upon exchange location. This incident on video tape.
L. Encouraging April to lie to me on numerous occasions.
M. Christy frequently makes alternate plans to keep April from me. documented in text messages.
N. Discussing and involving April in court proceedings and exposing her to all court documents
O. Referring to our home in La Quinta as not April’s real home
P. Claiming that April’s sisters are not real sisters because they did not come out of Christy’s womb
Q. Rescuing April from me, either physically or emotionally when there is no threat
R. Encourages and allows April to be rude and disrespectful to me over phone
S. Makes April feel guilty about having a good time at our home and our vacations
3. ADDITIONAL CONCERNS:
Because your honor has mentioned this in my last two appearances in this courtroom and talked extensively on the issue, I wish to clarify that I have never suggested, requested, hinted, or in any way feel it is necessary to use physical force to get April to visit with our family. There is additional evidence of this in one particular police incident report. In the report the officer writes that I refuse to pursue the issue to not further upset April.
I do however believe that if Christy’s court order violations need to be addressed to prevent continued violations and to allow me to have a loving relationship with our daughter.
April’s claims of not wanting to visit are directly linked to the negative influences of the adults in Christy’s home. When April or Christy are asked why April is refusing to visit with me neither have been able to give any good reason why. Also when asked what there is to be afraid of, neither she nor Christy can come up with an answer. Even when asked by law enforcement officers, April cannot say why she is “afraid” but Christy seems to be able to help out recently with the new and timely sexual allegations. Evidence of this is in the police incident reports.
The other issue now is the return of Kaylee. Christy had kicked her daughter Kaylee out because, as Dr. Amy Miller put it, Kaylee “acts in a negatively influential manner” and “clearly advancing a divisive agenda between April and her two parents.” Christy later blamed having to kick Kaylee claiming “I have to kick my daughter out because of you and Tammy accusing me of letting my daughter around bad influence.” In Dr. Amy Miller’s report it is mentioned that Christy’s daughter, Kaylee, plays a significant role in interfering with my relationship and continues to do so since she has moved back into Christy’s house on March 2, 2012 with her friend Erica Perez, a single, teenage mother of 2.
I have never met Erica, yet Erica has now joined in the campaign of denigration by stating, “Im with meggy 24/7 and from what i hear YOURE the one she wants to get away from...”;“The more you keep April under your ass the more she will want to rebel. Tired of hearing from meggy how crappy you are...” and “Everyone knows you’re a abuser and a horrible father.” Again, I have never met her. She goes on telling April that I am “ridiculous”, “an embarrassment,” “abusive,” all while boasting to me that she and Kaylee are “AWESOME INFLUENCES.” All Erica’s quotes are documented in copies of social media posts.
This recent boarder in the Garrison household makes for at least 5 adults currently living in the same home as our daughter who frequently bash and denigrate me. No wonder she “chooses” to say that she doesn’t want to visit with her dad. Could a 14 year old really stand up to them and say, “I love my father, I want to spend time with him and have a relationship with him” and if she did, how would they respond towards her?
It is relevant to this case that Christy has three children from three different fathers because I have witnessed the other 2 fathers become delegated to the sidelines to play a minor or non-existent part in the lives of their children, while the current man in the Christy’s life is placed in the leading role as her children’s only acting father. She seems to have no problem encouraging her children to have a loving relationship with whoever is currently at her side but has trouble supporting a relationship with her children’s biological fathers.
Because it is always in the best interest for a child to have a relationship with both parents, barring any real abuse, I am asking the court to take a good look at both party’s declarations and the supporting evidence. The documentation clearly shows Christy has a difficult time abiding by our court order and especially sharing our daughter.
My more pressing and immediate concern, however, is that Christy’s persistent and uncorroborated allegations are being validated and entrenched as being true in these proceedings without any evidence that they hold an ounce of truth. Aside from the testimony of an embittered ex-wife and cries of a truly alienated child who has been placed in the precarious position to have to either show or betray a loyalty to one parent, there is no tangible evidence corroborating any of Christy’s accusations.
Christy has gone as far as making false sexual allegations. I ask the court to weigh the validity of these allegations that arose, conveniently, a month before our court hearing and on the weekend that Christy “forced” April to visit me after denying me overnight visitation for over 78 days. The timing and type of allegations frequently occur in high conflict cases and also fit the pattern of an alienating parent fixated on destroying a father’s relationship with a child.
Lastly, April shows all the signs of a child who is subjected to parental alienation. April’s actions completely fit the description of how an alienated child would act towards a parent. In the last 4 months not only has my relationship with April been negatively affected but now April claims that she no longer wants anything to do with my wife and her sisters. Yet when she is with our family, April’s behavior is one of a loving, affectionate, and respectful daughter. She is every bit the daughter that I have raised and have come to know.
Some of the staples of parental alienation behaviors which I have documented.
1. The campaign of denigration
Not only from Christy, but every other adult in the household has contributed to my denigration. The denigration now includes April.
2. Weak, frivolous and absurd rationalizations for the denigration.
April and Christy have been unable to come up with any justification of April’s perceived unwillingness to visit with me. Christy claims that April dislikes me, fears me and is uncomfortable visiting. However, fails to give any reason for these feelings that she expresses for April. April eventually began to parrot these concerns.
3. Lack of ambivalence. (Only when with her mother and first few minutes after pick up)
April seldom shows any signs of love or affection when in Christy’s presence. But April does show love and affection when she visits with me. It usually takes about 20-30 minutes before April seems to forget that she is supposed to hate me and is back to her loving, normal self. I have amassed a collection of audio, video, voicemails, and text showing that April and my relationship is incredible when not under the controls of an alienating parent.
4. The “independent thinker phenomenon.”
April strongly states that this is all her idea and that her mother plays no part in this. April claims she is her own person and makes her own choices.
5. Reflexive support of the alienating parent in the parental conflict.
April scoffs at my claims that I am a loving and affection parent while now claiming that her mother is wonderful and has no faults.
6. No guilt/remorse over cruelty or exploitation of the me and our family
April appears to have no remorse over the harmful things she has said to me and her step-mother over the phone. She also shows no regret about not seeing or communicating with her little sisters whom she loves. April also appears to not have any concerns regarding the gravity of making the false sexual allegations that she and her mother are professing. But she is now parroting Christy’s claims of being distraught over my Facebook post and claims that they are being disruptive to her family and therefore will worsen my relationship with her.
7. The presence of borrowed scenarios.
April claims that she has seen abuse at our home. She also claims that I have abused Christy as well as Christy’s two other children while I was married to Christy over 12 years ago.
8. The spread of animosity to the extended family and alienated parent.
April now wants nothing to do with my wife, even though they had recently sustained an incredible relationship, nor does she seem to want anything to do with her sisters.
APRIL’S ROLE AND CONTRIBUTIONS
When April doesn’t get her way, she says she hates me and doesn’t want to see me ever again. April also has something to gain by going along with her mom's campaign to exclude me from our daughter's life, no boundaries and boyfriends. Christy's parenting style is excessively permissive with little boundaries and expectations. April has been allowed by Christy to have a "boyfriend" since she was ten years old. When my wife, Tammy, and I discussed the inappropriateness of April telling a boy she loves him at ten years old, she swept it under the rug as "just a crush" rather than both of us setting boundaries for April. Since this was not addressed, the seriousness of these "crushes" or 'boyfriends" has become even more serious. When she was eleven and twelve she had multiple "boyfriends" and April even stated in a message via Facebook that she was kissing one boy to get over another. In another Facebook message, a third party is telling April that her boyfriend enjoys it when April rubs on him. Most recently Christy has violated an agreement made by Christy, Michael, Tammy, me, and Christy's therapist, Shirley Stutson, that April is simply not allowed to have a boyfriend. Christy went against our agreement in order to appease April's request to have a boyfriend. According to April, Christy told her it was okay to have a boyfriend, just label it a "crush" and don't tell your dad. Then it was stated in therapy that Christy and Michael allow this current boyfriend over to their house and April to his. They are allowed to be alone together in respective bedrooms and April also stated that her mother has seen her "make out" with her boyfriend and is perfectly okay with it. Currently, April is in an emotionally abusive relationship with a boy who manipulates her by being mean, using threatening language, and then being alternately remorseful and nice.
My continued contact with April at this point is crucial, particularly because our time together serves as proof contrary to what April’s family bombards her with constantly. My time with April is the best defense that I have from the constant barrage of disparaging remarks that April is exposed to at her home. Not to mention the fact that April loves spending time with me and our family. My wife and I are loving, insightful and caring parents. It is unfortunate that our willingness to actually work at being effective parents works to our disadvantage when up against Christy’s overly permissive parenting which, of course, would be very appealing to a teenager. But right now April needs parenting, not a best friend who will allow her to do as she pleases.
I declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of the State of California that the foregoing is true and correct.
Signed, Date:
_________________________________ ______________________
DECLARATION
My name is Joe Barrow, I am the father of April Barrow, our 14 year old daughter. I have been divorced from the petitioner, Christine Gxxxxx, for over 12 years. I am remarried and have 3 additional children at my home in La Quinta, California. I just finished my studies for a Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. I have also authored children’s empowerment books along with my wife, Tammy, who has been teaching for 13 years.
I have also developed and facilitate children’s empowerment workshops, counseled individuals and families, and co-facilitated a men’s counseling group.
I am a loving father whose first priority is and has always been my children. I am insightful, compassionate, and nothing like the picture that Christy, Mike and now April paint of me. I have played an active role in April’s upbringing since before she was born. I have been there to celebrate every milestone, shared in her many accomplishments, and offer words of comfort and guidance when needed. As far as my commitment to being a father goes, I have been told regularly by many, including Mike and Christine Garrison, that I set the bar high for parents. Mike and Christy have frequently left their other daughter in our care and on overnight visits.
For the last 2 ½ years I have been documenting (Video, audio, Voice mails, and text messages) Christy’s continued interference with my relationship with our daughter, April. The interference is at times manageable as I do whatever I can to appease Christy for the sake of our daughter. However, whenever I offer any resistance, for example, by asking her to abide by our court order, I incur the full wrath of her malevolence. Her first and main target is always directed at my relationship with April. This has been extremely well documented. I have been told by many, including mental health professionals that I have one of the best documented cases of alienating behavior by a parent against another parent.
My concerns are the same as they were two years ago when I first pled to this court that my ex-wife, Christy, was actively alienating me from our daughter (See my previous court declaration). Christy continually disparages me directly to and/or in front of April, interferes with my visitation, and blatantly ignores our court order stating, “I don’t care what the court order says, I will take you back to court and April will say what she needs to say.” 7/31/12 (EXHIBIT 1)
The last time we went through this almost identical ordeal, Christy also asked for me to “give April a week, give her two weeks,” and to skip a visit with her. The two weeks turned into 3 months that I was kept from our daughter. In Christy’s recent declaration she asks again for me “to give April 1-2 weeks to work through these feelings,” it has now been 5 months and I have seen our daughter on only 7 days.
During the previous ordeal, Christy eventually apologized and admitted to “jumping the gun” in keeping April away from me, not practicing effective co-parenting skills, and giving too much credence to the grumbles of a 12 year old who wanted to hang out with her boyfriend instead of visit with her loving family. In Christy’s own words, “Maybe April was playing me against you...” (9/ 20/2011) and “Thank you as well for helping me giude April, and clarifying some issues that i had assumed.” (10/27/ 2011). Of course, this was while we were seeing Dr. Amy Miller and had a pending hearing. Christy still fails to see that April continues to “play” her against me to get her way. April on July 27, admitted that she does it because she can get away with it with her mom. Christy regrettably jumps at the opportunity, enthusiastically, to show that she is not a bad parent by going along with April’s assertions and even encouraging them. Because Christy chooses to align with April rather than, as Dr. Amy Miller suggested, communicate with me and thereby “removing April from the uncomfortable and rich role of possibly distorting facts...” we are now back where we were 2 years ago. (see 3190 Non-Confidential report) It is a shame that Christy’s lack of co-parenting skills is harming April.
I am asking for professional guided co-parenting counseling for Christy and me, if not all four parents for the sake of April’s mental and emotional well-being. Additionally, I would like for all my visitations to be restored and missed days made up as I am a loving father and not in any way a threat to our daughter. I have done nothing to deserve my time with April being taken away by either Christy or this court. I am additionally requesting that pick up and drop off responsibilities be reversed to prevent me having to wait for up to 6 hours for a Sheriff to respond when Christy chooses to keep April away from me. I am requesting that Christy bring April to my home on the beginning of the weekend and I bring April back to Christy on Sunday evenings.
On January 9, 2012 there was a detailed court order in place that all parties agreed on. I was especially relieved that April would no longer be placed in the difficult situation of having to choose whether or not she would visit me at the risk of upsetting her mother. My relationship with April was restored to what it had been before. I seemed to have our daughter back.
A little over a month after the court order was issued, Christy began violating the court order and threatening to take me back to court. Christy had allowed April to walk 1 ½ miles to her friend’s home where there were no adults. When I address my concern they were met with threats of court action. I have grown accustomed to Christy’s threats and simply dismissed them. But what happens next is revealing and typical of what I go through. When Christy saw that her threat of court action wasn’t fazing me, she impulsively said that April didn’t want to come out to our van. I asked Christy why she would say that since April had just been out to our van and enthusiastically greeted our family before running back into the house to get her things. April seemed happy and excited to see us. Then Christy said, “look at the way you treat her.” This statement comes from out of nowhere. April had not been treated negatively. When April comes back out, she still seems happy. As we drive away, I ask April if she’s okay and she nods and enthusiastically says yes. She adds that she was looking forward to seeing us and that she missed us. I texted Christy to let her know what April had just told me and Christy responded by saying to leave April out of this. This incident was audio recorded. (EXHIBIT 2)
This documented incident is a typical example of how a trifle disagreement can cause Christy to use April as a pawn and impulsively go straight at my relationship with April.
Still, I felt reassured I was going to be allowed to continue having a relationship with our daughter. I now had an enforceable court order which all parties were to abide by. This all changed when this court brought it to Christy’s attention that no law-enforcement officer is going to physically force a 14 year old go with the other parent. My heart immediately sank with the realization that Christy just got the green light to place April back in the middle of a situation that Dr. Amy Miller’s report and a court-order had successfully and appropriately removed her from.
Three days later, On August 10, Christy stated that “April is a good actress and she’ll ball her eyes out if she has to,” and that April will put on a show and refuse to go. Since then, both Christy and Mike have stated that they now know how to get around a court order. Mike, her step-dad, especially has found it particularly advantageous that they were delivered a way around a court order and he continues to gloat about it. Inferring to my attempts to get our court-ordered visitation enforced, Mike exults, “How’s that police calling working out for you, good?”
Once again, April was placed in a situation where she is the one making the choice. I remain concerned about April being thrust into the role of the decision maker regarding if, when, and under which circumstances she is willing to visit me, especially when her refusal to see me is encouraged by her mother, the step-dad, her older sister, Kaylee, and Erica Perez, a teenage mother living at Christy’s home. This was addressed in Amy Miller’s report, “Naturally, this is completely unacceptable...and places an extremely large burden on a young adolescent who is not equip [sic] to possess such power.” (See 3190 Non-Confidential Psychologist Report).
Christy additionally provides April with the mis-guided perception that a 14 year old is emotionally and cognitively equipped, and more capable than either of her parents, to make the decision of whether or not it is in her best interest to have a relationship with a parent, unless of course that parent is her. Christy continually states, “Its April’s choice. I (Christy) have to respect her choices.” Would a 14 year old be allowed to not attend school or deny medical assistance simply because she didn’t want to? Further-more, I remind Christy how little respect she seemed to have for April’s choices when April’s wishes were to come live with me.
I emphatically deny all of Christy’s and her husband’s allegations that I am in any way abusive, controlling, psychiatrically unstable, or pose any type of threat either emotional, physical, or sexually to our daughter. Their hastily authored declarations are full of uncorroborated accusations re-hashed from 2 years ago when Christy’s alienating behavior was first brought to this court’s attention. Christy’s and her husband’s anger and animosity towards me are evident in their declarations which were written as retaliation for publically disclosing our 3 year battle with parental alienation and Christy’s mis-perception that I reported her 24 year old son’s relationship with a 16 year old girl.
These unsubstantiated allegations, including the more recent and timely sexual allegations have, none-the-less, resulted in the subsequent removal of all my rights to spend time and communicate with our daughter from November 29, 2012 to January 14, 2013. The four months prior, Christy had completely disregarded court orders by only allowing me to see our daughter on 7 occasions within the last 125 days between July 27 and November 29, 2012.
I ask the court to examine the documentation showing that Christy is not only interfering with my visitation time but also actively facilitating the destruction of my relationship with our daughter through her words and alienating behavior.
1. INTERFERING WITH VISITATION
A. The following are dates that I have been denied my court-ordered custody time with April. The beginning dates Christy was either not at the exchange location, refused to come to the door, Christy simply refused to allow visitation, or deliberately mis-represented the details of our court order to refuse visitation:
August 10, 11, 12, 16, 23, 24, 25, 26, 30, 31 of 2012
September 1, 2, 6, 7, 8, 9, 13, 14, 21, 22, 23, and 27 of 2012
October 4, 5, 6, 7, 11, 25, 26, 27, and 28 of 2012
November 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 9, 10, 11, 12, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, and 21 of 2012
I. Example of interference: On October 25, I had driven 2 hours to pick up April for Thursday visit and was waiting in front of her school. April’s step-dad sped past where I was parked, and stopped in front of the school gymnasium (not a designated pick up stop) just long enough for April to jump in. As they drove off while I called out after him, “What are you doing? I am supposed to pick up April.” He responded by saying, “bye Joe,” and then drove off. This incident was video recorded.
II. November 1, 2012 Mike drove alongside and followed April as she walked the few blocks home from her school. Christy approached from around the corner and hit the accelerator as she passed where I was standing in the street. As she passed next to April, she gestured at April to go to the house. This incident was video recorded.
III. November 2, 2012 After therapy Christy had agreed to allow April to come with me. Once downstairs from the therapist office, Christy appears to change her mind and ask if I could just stick to day visits in front of April. Christy refuses to leave and even places April in her car and then goes to have lunch while I wait for Sheriff. She says to call her when they arrive. In front of April she accuses me of not thinking of the best interest of April. These incidences were video recorded.
B. Interference with Communication
~Christy’s daughter, Kaylee belches when she answers the phone or during conversations with April.
~Christy denies me access to April’s cell phone number. Resulting in my having to go through Christy in order to communicate with April from July 27 to September 28. This set up is to my disadvantage because Christy refuses to bring April give the phone to April. Christy claims in an e-mail on September 28 that she texted me April’s cell phone number a month prior.
~Christy and Mike have asked me not to call the home phone, but I feel as if I have no choice. When I call the home phone, my calls are met with hostility, annoying noises including belching and laughter by Kaylee and/or Erica, and sighs of frustration by Mike and Christy. At times I am hung up on or told to hold on indefinitely while they “looked” for April. Eventually, I either hang up or get hung up on. This has been an ongoing issue.
~When Christy does have April call me she lets the phone ring for half a ring and then immediately text messages me claiming that April has tried calling me but that I am not answering.
C. Christy Abruptly Takes April Out Of Gymnastics to Keep Me From April
~Christy rarely shows up to gymnastics however when she does it is with an entourage and with the intention of interfering with my visitation time. Christy has kept April from gymnastics practices and meets. On two occasions, once in February 2011 and again in September 2012, Christy abruptly took April out of gymnastics entirely to keep me from seeing her
~On August 10, 2012, during my custody time, Christy brought her sister and an unknown female to gymnastics practice. The two women walked onto the gym floor against gym protocol and literally escorted April off the floor after practice, physically blocking me from April. Christy denies this ever happened, while April says that the escorting was due to her fears of me. This entire incident was video-recorded.
~Christy has done this before on February 11, 2011, when she showed up 15 minutes before practice was over to keep April from visiting me. During that time she removed April from gymnastics entirely as well. The February 2011 incident was video recorded as well.
~The claims for April quitting gymnastics are similar to last time. April quit gymnastics to try dance. When April did not start dance classes, the reason for quitting gymnastics was then switched to me again. April was eventually re-signed up for gymnastics on both occasions. This time with the condition that I not attend gymnastics practices.
D. Not Encouraging Visitations and Coaching April to Refuse to Visit With Me
Christy at times says that she encourages April to visit me while simultaneously claiming to having to “respect April’s wishes” to not visit or that she needs to “protect” April from me; and then at other times she claims that she is unable to enforce her authority as a parent to get April to visit, but concurrently succeeds in compelling April to visit on some occasions when Christy desires. This is documented in text messages, video, and audio recordings.
E. Changing Pick Up And Drop Off Times with Threat of Court Action
Christy frequently asks that I drop April off back at her house earlier than our court ordered time additionally she demands that I pick up April later than our court ordered time and threatens me with court action. (EXHIBIT 3 A & B)
2. BEHAVIOR AIMED AT DETROYING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH APRIL
A. Christy, told April that I will never love April as much as I love her older sister, Stephanie. On August 18, 2012, April hand wrote a letter to me stating that she now believes it to be true.
B. I have been accused of kidnapping/abducting our daughter on Christmas Day. This is documented in text messages as well as a voice mail.
C. Denigrating remarks from Christy and others in Christy’s household. Documented in text message, audio, video, and social media postings.
D. Numerous unsubstantiated criminal allegations stalking, trespassing, illegally recording a minor, lying to a police officer, and sexual allegations against our own daughter
E. Christy actively undermining my authority as a parent.
F. Calling, texting April at the onset of our 2 week long family vacations, asking when she is coming back, if she wants to return sooner, and that she is gone too long.
G. Filing false allegations of sexual abuse (see Mediation report)
H. Christy consistently claiming that she is protecting April from me, implies that I am in some way a danger to our daughter. Documented in text/video/audio.
I. Tells April that I was abusive to her during our marriage
J. When I attempt to pick up April I am accused of stalking, harassing, trespassing, and other inappropriately behavior. The stalking incident is videotaped.
K. I am told to wait in the street when picking up our daughter at the agreed upon exchange location. This incident on video tape.
L. Encouraging April to lie to me on numerous occasions.
M. Christy frequently makes alternate plans to keep April from me. documented in text messages.
N. Discussing and involving April in court proceedings and exposing her to all court documents
O. Referring to our home in La Quinta as not April’s real home
P. Claiming that April’s sisters are not real sisters because they did not come out of Christy’s womb
Q. Rescuing April from me, either physically or emotionally when there is no threat
R. Encourages and allows April to be rude and disrespectful to me over phone
S. Makes April feel guilty about having a good time at our home and our vacations
3. ADDITIONAL CONCERNS:
Because your honor has mentioned this in my last two appearances in this courtroom and talked extensively on the issue, I wish to clarify that I have never suggested, requested, hinted, or in any way feel it is necessary to use physical force to get April to visit with our family. There is additional evidence of this in one particular police incident report. In the report the officer writes that I refuse to pursue the issue to not further upset April.
I do however believe that if Christy’s court order violations need to be addressed to prevent continued violations and to allow me to have a loving relationship with our daughter.
April’s claims of not wanting to visit are directly linked to the negative influences of the adults in Christy’s home. When April or Christy are asked why April is refusing to visit with me neither have been able to give any good reason why. Also when asked what there is to be afraid of, neither she nor Christy can come up with an answer. Even when asked by law enforcement officers, April cannot say why she is “afraid” but Christy seems to be able to help out recently with the new and timely sexual allegations. Evidence of this is in the police incident reports.
The other issue now is the return of Kaylee. Christy had kicked her daughter Kaylee out because, as Dr. Amy Miller put it, Kaylee “acts in a negatively influential manner” and “clearly advancing a divisive agenda between April and her two parents.” Christy later blamed having to kick Kaylee claiming “I have to kick my daughter out because of you and Tammy accusing me of letting my daughter around bad influence.” In Dr. Amy Miller’s report it is mentioned that Christy’s daughter, Kaylee, plays a significant role in interfering with my relationship and continues to do so since she has moved back into Christy’s house on March 2, 2012 with her friend Erica Perez, a single, teenage mother of 2.
I have never met Erica, yet Erica has now joined in the campaign of denigration by stating, “Im with meggy 24/7 and from what i hear YOURE the one she wants to get away from...”;“The more you keep April under your ass the more she will want to rebel. Tired of hearing from meggy how crappy you are...” and “Everyone knows you’re a abuser and a horrible father.” Again, I have never met her. She goes on telling April that I am “ridiculous”, “an embarrassment,” “abusive,” all while boasting to me that she and Kaylee are “AWESOME INFLUENCES.” All Erica’s quotes are documented in copies of social media posts.
This recent boarder in the Garrison household makes for at least 5 adults currently living in the same home as our daughter who frequently bash and denigrate me. No wonder she “chooses” to say that she doesn’t want to visit with her dad. Could a 14 year old really stand up to them and say, “I love my father, I want to spend time with him and have a relationship with him” and if she did, how would they respond towards her?
It is relevant to this case that Christy has three children from three different fathers because I have witnessed the other 2 fathers become delegated to the sidelines to play a minor or non-existent part in the lives of their children, while the current man in the Christy’s life is placed in the leading role as her children’s only acting father. She seems to have no problem encouraging her children to have a loving relationship with whoever is currently at her side but has trouble supporting a relationship with her children’s biological fathers.
Because it is always in the best interest for a child to have a relationship with both parents, barring any real abuse, I am asking the court to take a good look at both party’s declarations and the supporting evidence. The documentation clearly shows Christy has a difficult time abiding by our court order and especially sharing our daughter.
My more pressing and immediate concern, however, is that Christy’s persistent and uncorroborated allegations are being validated and entrenched as being true in these proceedings without any evidence that they hold an ounce of truth. Aside from the testimony of an embittered ex-wife and cries of a truly alienated child who has been placed in the precarious position to have to either show or betray a loyalty to one parent, there is no tangible evidence corroborating any of Christy’s accusations.
Christy has gone as far as making false sexual allegations. I ask the court to weigh the validity of these allegations that arose, conveniently, a month before our court hearing and on the weekend that Christy “forced” April to visit me after denying me overnight visitation for over 78 days. The timing and type of allegations frequently occur in high conflict cases and also fit the pattern of an alienating parent fixated on destroying a father’s relationship with a child.
Lastly, April shows all the signs of a child who is subjected to parental alienation. April’s actions completely fit the description of how an alienated child would act towards a parent. In the last 4 months not only has my relationship with April been negatively affected but now April claims that she no longer wants anything to do with my wife and her sisters. Yet when she is with our family, April’s behavior is one of a loving, affectionate, and respectful daughter. She is every bit the daughter that I have raised and have come to know.
Some of the staples of parental alienation behaviors which I have documented.
1. The campaign of denigration
Not only from Christy, but every other adult in the household has contributed to my denigration. The denigration now includes April.
2. Weak, frivolous and absurd rationalizations for the denigration.
April and Christy have been unable to come up with any justification of April’s perceived unwillingness to visit with me. Christy claims that April dislikes me, fears me and is uncomfortable visiting. However, fails to give any reason for these feelings that she expresses for April. April eventually began to parrot these concerns.
3. Lack of ambivalence. (Only when with her mother and first few minutes after pick up)
April seldom shows any signs of love or affection when in Christy’s presence. But April does show love and affection when she visits with me. It usually takes about 20-30 minutes before April seems to forget that she is supposed to hate me and is back to her loving, normal self. I have amassed a collection of audio, video, voicemails, and text showing that April and my relationship is incredible when not under the controls of an alienating parent.
4. The “independent thinker phenomenon.”
April strongly states that this is all her idea and that her mother plays no part in this. April claims she is her own person and makes her own choices.
5. Reflexive support of the alienating parent in the parental conflict.
April scoffs at my claims that I am a loving and affection parent while now claiming that her mother is wonderful and has no faults.
6. No guilt/remorse over cruelty or exploitation of the me and our family
April appears to have no remorse over the harmful things she has said to me and her step-mother over the phone. She also shows no regret about not seeing or communicating with her little sisters whom she loves. April also appears to not have any concerns regarding the gravity of making the false sexual allegations that she and her mother are professing. But she is now parroting Christy’s claims of being distraught over my Facebook post and claims that they are being disruptive to her family and therefore will worsen my relationship with her.
7. The presence of borrowed scenarios.
April claims that she has seen abuse at our home. She also claims that I have abused Christy as well as Christy’s two other children while I was married to Christy over 12 years ago.
8. The spread of animosity to the extended family and alienated parent.
April now wants nothing to do with my wife, even though they had recently sustained an incredible relationship, nor does she seem to want anything to do with her sisters.
APRIL’S ROLE AND CONTRIBUTIONS
When April doesn’t get her way, she says she hates me and doesn’t want to see me ever again. April also has something to gain by going along with her mom's campaign to exclude me from our daughter's life, no boundaries and boyfriends. Christy's parenting style is excessively permissive with little boundaries and expectations. April has been allowed by Christy to have a "boyfriend" since she was ten years old. When my wife, Tammy, and I discussed the inappropriateness of April telling a boy she loves him at ten years old, she swept it under the rug as "just a crush" rather than both of us setting boundaries for April. Since this was not addressed, the seriousness of these "crushes" or 'boyfriends" has become even more serious. When she was eleven and twelve she had multiple "boyfriends" and April even stated in a message via Facebook that she was kissing one boy to get over another. In another Facebook message, a third party is telling April that her boyfriend enjoys it when April rubs on him. Most recently Christy has violated an agreement made by Christy, Michael, Tammy, me, and Christy's therapist, Shirley Stutson, that April is simply not allowed to have a boyfriend. Christy went against our agreement in order to appease April's request to have a boyfriend. According to April, Christy told her it was okay to have a boyfriend, just label it a "crush" and don't tell your dad. Then it was stated in therapy that Christy and Michael allow this current boyfriend over to their house and April to his. They are allowed to be alone together in respective bedrooms and April also stated that her mother has seen her "make out" with her boyfriend and is perfectly okay with it. Currently, April is in an emotionally abusive relationship with a boy who manipulates her by being mean, using threatening language, and then being alternately remorseful and nice.
My continued contact with April at this point is crucial, particularly because our time together serves as proof contrary to what April’s family bombards her with constantly. My time with April is the best defense that I have from the constant barrage of disparaging remarks that April is exposed to at her home. Not to mention the fact that April loves spending time with me and our family. My wife and I are loving, insightful and caring parents. It is unfortunate that our willingness to actually work at being effective parents works to our disadvantage when up against Christy’s overly permissive parenting which, of course, would be very appealing to a teenager. But right now April needs parenting, not a best friend who will allow her to do as she pleases.
I declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of the State of California that the foregoing is true and correct.
Signed, Date:
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