- Note From An Alienated Dad
- PA for DUMMIES
- Parental Alienation
- Main Alienators
- Alienated Children Speak out
- 3 VIDEOS explain PA
- Cross Country Parental Alienation Awareness Tour
- I CAN'T BE A FATHER
- Recent Articles
- An Alienated Child's View
- FACEBOOK posts
- Alienacion Parental (Spanish)
- The Rejected/ Targeted Parent
- Books on PAS
- Memories of a Monster
- Judge Gorcyca: PA most devastating Issue
- Infamous Alienators
- Kick Parental Alienation's @$$
- Women vs PA
- The Step Parent
- Videos: Parents Speak out
- A New Hope
- I Am The Alienator
- It Happens To Moms Too
- Borrowed Content
- PA Movies to Watch
- Shared Parenting
- A Broken System
- San Bernardino Family Court
- Awareness in our Schools
On October 25, 2012, I waited in front of our daughter's middle school with a court-order in hand and I patted my breast, once again, to feel for the outline of my California driver's license in my shirt pocket. It was still there but that little bit of re-assurance didn't make a dent in my growing concern that our daughter was nowhere in sight. The release bell had rung a few minutes ago and the drove of students that poured out had dwindled down to a few scattered stragglers. But still no April.
This is how a good father gets treated in a case of Parental Alienation
I just found out I get to see our daughter for one hour, during a therapy session on the 31st of this month. It’s basically the equivalent of supervised visitations; the type they grant to child molesters, alcoholics, and drug addict parents. This is where I am at right now.
But I guess I am lucky. I get to see April. My wife, Malia, Jaida, and Sophie do not. According to Christy, My wife is also doing harm to April and as far as April’s little sisters, well, they are not her “real” sisters anyway.
This is an audio of Christy. She is threatening to take time away from me a little over a month after a brand new court order. The most interesting thing about this audio is not the fact that she threatens to take time away from me; she did that all the time. The thing that I want you to note is why.
Christy is threatening to take time away from me if I “talk crap” about her.
If I talk crap about her. That is a transgression so offensive that the consequence should be time taken away from a loving relationship between a father and his daughter.
By “talk crap” she means if I tell anyone that she let April walk to a friend’s house from school. She walked a mile and a half to a friend’s house where there was no adult supervision. Not that big of a deal but to Christy it’s so important to look like a good parent.
Next Thursday I get to see April.
It will make 8 times that I have seen April since July, 2012. I get to spend one hour with her.
That’s not good enough.
This is one of three websites that we will be promoting to bring awareness to Parental Alienation.
Sophie has stopped asking about April for the most part and we are okay with that.
After years of our family driving to see April every weekend (I would go alone on Thursdays) and having her in her life since she was born, I wonder what she must be thinking and feeling about when suddenly her sister is removed from her life.
Still, on occasion Sophie will quietly mention that she misses her sister. She will remain contemplative and go on with what she was doing. Its always hard to know what to say. Today, I just said that I miss her too. That we all do.
I have become good at not showing how much it hurts to have an alienated daughter programmed to hate you.
I manage a smile to re-assure Sophie that things will be okay and we will see April soon.
Sophie doesn't seem convinced though. She leans against the couch, looking down at the carpet.
Sophie set her peanut butter and jelly sandwich down (yes she had a PB&J for breakfast) and walks over to me. She gave me a long, loving embrace. Sophie does that. I swear she seems to know exactly when I need a hug and now I am really fighting back tears.
I always feel guilty when I have to change the subject. Today, I remind Sophie that she has a dentist appointment and immediately think, Good job Joe, because nothing brightens up a 4 year old like a trip to the dentist.
"and then we''ll go shopping," I add, a little more enthusiastically.
Sophie seems to liven up a bit and asks,"To Winco?"
At the dentist Sophie is complimented on how brave she is. Both the assistant, a young woman named Ashley, and the dentist say how much they look forward to her visit when they see her name on the days schedule.
Sophie really is a good girl at the dentist. I want to share some of my dentist experiences that I had with April when she was around Sophie's age with both the Ashley and Sophie. But Sophie was thoroughly engaged in a lively conversation with Ashley, and I was just happy that for now her big sister, who she hasn't seen in months, is tucked somewhere in the back of her mind.
I was just told that April had her first Homecoming this weekend. I could only imagine how beautiful she looked. I could only imagine, because I wasn’t allowed to be a part of it. I couldn’t take pictures. I couldn’t admire her beautiful dress, her radiant smile. And if you know me I probably would have cried. This is a moment that I was not allowed to share in. Along with everything else, this is devastating to a father like me who has always been there for every milestone, especially when I knew I was going to be her only parent there.
April has only been allowed to come to our home one time since July 27 of last year. It was for an overnight visit on October 13, 2012.
At the time, Christy had not been allowing April to visit with our family. It had been 78 days since April had come over.
On October 11, 2012, strangely enough, I received a text message from Christy. She decided that she was going to allow April to come visit us. We were excited but leary. We kept this fact from our girls just in case it turned out this was just one of Christy’s sick games. To our surprise Christy did show up with April and Kaylee at the meeting point. After, Christy and Kaylee gave April long extended embraces, April drove home with us and the Barrow family celebrated our re-union.
Those of you familiar with Parental Alienation know what’s coming next.
Two weeks later, Christy filed a report with CPS accusing me of being a Peeping Tom while April was in the shower at our home during the October 13th visit that Christy had setup.
The good news is that CPS will NOT be filing any charges noting the timing of Christy’s allegations coming conveniently before our court date in November. Up until these allegations, Christy had NO justification for keeping April away from our family.
She still doesn’t have any valid reason, but now the damage is done.
In Canada they call it the “Silver Bullet.” An uncorroborated, false allegation and the alienating parent gets what she wants—me out of April’s life.
Everything now comes to a halt. I have to attend weekly therapy sessions with April. The good news is that it’s not with Christy’s usual ‘bought and paid for’ therapist.
I can’t contact her, call her, text her. However, if April wants to, she can initiate any type of contact with me. I tried to explain to the judge that there is no way that April is going to go against her mother’s wishes and contact me.
I haven’t heard from April.
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The Barrow Family
Determined to fight