In February Commissioner Daniel ruled, without any justification I might add, that I not initiate contact with my daughter Megan. We’ll disregard how absurd this ruling is for the time being.
Even though I have been ordered not to contact Megan, I still regularly text her with a picture of our family and update her on events going on in her sister’s lives. God’s natural law in blessing our family with Megan overrides Commissioner Daniels incompetence and reckless ruling. So Tammy and I message Megan reminder her how much we love and miss her, we send her pictures of her sisters award ceremonies, milestones, and celebrations, we include her when we are reminiscing of all the incredible moments that we have shared, and let her know that we think about her everyday. (Screenshots below)
All this at the risk of being held in contempt of court.
Directly below are some of my most recent messages to our Megan. My wife Tammy's messages are equally loving. All these contacts are in violation of a court order of course.
A staple of a controlling and alienating parent is that their psychopathology compels them to interfere or have to control over the communications between the targeted parent and their child. This has been an ongoing struggle in my life; having to deal with Christy (and Mike and Kaylee) while attempting to communicate with our daughter Megan.
This following is what is happening now.
If I want to communicate with Megan right now I have to go through her mother Christy. I am expected to believe that Megan does not have a phone. That her cell phone broke over a month ago. So if I want to keep communicating with our daughter, I have to do it through Christy’s cell phone. Then the message will be relayed to Megan or if Megan is around she can respond immediately. And for all I know it could actually be Megan responding. I mean, it really could be.
The concern with this is obvious. It is awkward and so dysfunctional. But there is more to why this is happening now.
There's the timing of everything.
It just so happens that Megan's phone "troubles" once again come at the one time that Megan was most likely to reach out to us: Sophie's birthday May 9th.
THE SCREW UP
Last year, at about the same time, Sophie's birthday, Megan screwed up. At least in her dysfunctional family's eyes she did. What Megan did was a clear violation of the rules in Christy's house: Megan reached out and that was bad; then she let us know that she missed us and wanted to see us on Sophies birthday. That could not go unpunished.
the end result was that Megan got to visit us last year for Sophie's birthday for a little over an hour at Chuck E Cheese here in Palm Desert. Megan payed the price. But so did Sophie. (See screenshot on right)
After Megan reached out, I text and emailed Christy that evening, Christy didn't respond until the next morning. Look at the text and Tweets below, but more importantly look at the times.
NOTE: "ish" is how Megan says 'shit" ever since we addressed Megan's inappropriate use of language on social media.
Christy was forced to drive Megan to see us. It was a two hour drive. Christy brought Kaylee along with her. One could only imagine what that two hour drive here was like for Megan.
For now, we are still able to communicate with Megan but through Christy's cell phone.
Megan supposedly doesn't have a phone or its not working.
It might be a stretch, but I guess one could argue that perhaps not every 15 year old girl has her own cell phone. But, if anyone believes for a minute that Megan would be allowed to go without a cell phone at her overly indulgent mother’s house, well you don’t know Christy. Especially since Megan has disowned her biological father’s side of the family, this type of unquestioned loyalty to the alienating parent along with the sacrifice of a relationship with her father comes with spoils in a highly dysfunctional family. So yes, Megan does have a phone, probably a nice one at that. But once again, I am being asked to believe that the only way to communicate with our daughter is through Christy’s cell phone.
So besides having to deal with this I am also being forced to send the following message for example...
“I love you and miss you beautiful. Muuahhhhhhhh!!!”
...to my ex-wife’s cell phone. Awkward.
Again, this is not the first time that I have been forced to do this. But everytime this happens I am reminded of what has been suggested by some friends and therapists: That Christy still harbors some strong romantic feelings for me. Well, as disturbing as that sounds to me, it would explain a great deal. In the last few months I have read about and heard examples of alienators who also insist that the targeted parent work on the relationship with the alienator to consequently have a better relationship with their child. One example is in the video recording for Jacob Folkner in which the alienator makes the same disturbing request.
My relationship with our daughter shouldn't be contingent on the state my relationship with my ex-wife.
That’s not even where the fun begins. The weird part is if and when I do get a response. Then I have to wonder who I am really talking to. I have had text exchanges where I get the uneasy (to say the least) feeling that I may not be texting with our daughter.
I have been dealing with this for years. (See the example below)
And yes, I try calling but then no one answers or worse, they answer, burp, laugh, and then hang up. Its a joke but my options are extremely limited.
On other occasions where there has been interference with my attempts to communicate with Megan, I have been asked to believe that Megan has had her phone taken away by either Kaylee, Christy, or her step-dad Mike Garrison.
Sometimes there's no explanation like in the instance on the right. I am just happy she gets it back and I can communicate with her.
Sometimes I ask, like in the example below, because I am her father and I am curious why she got her phone taken away when she is a great kid and never gets in trouble. So I ask, why did you get your phone taken away? I am her father and I should get and expect a response. But I am an alienated father so I am lucky to get the single word answer I got, "Because."